Why I Decided to Go Grey at 49

Hi, my friends. It’s Catherine Greer writing to you. If you’re new, you’ve likely signed up to my Sunday newsletter after reading The Bittersweet Bakery Cafe. You are so welcome here…I’ll send you an upbeat note every Sunday to chat about life and cheer us on down the road.

While launching my book, I got my first shot at journalism and was asked to write a piece for the Sydney Morning Herald and Melbourne Age weekend magazine. I hadn’t done it before, so you can let me know if I did an okay job…I was pretty pleased by how it turned out, and it caused a tiny, minor flurry in the office on Monday when I was asked to do an impromptu ABC radio interview, and then another podcast.

So that was fun — and those opportunities let me talk a little more about my new novel.

In the Herald / Age article, I wrote about going grey, and why I chose to do it.

It’s such a personal choice. In case you’re sitting on the fence, or just ‘grey hair curious’ I thought I might recap for you here.

I’d been colouring my hair since age 28…a very long time. Twenty years of cost and time, and also when my hair was wet in the shower, it felt like candy floss (fairy floss for my Aussie friends). When it was styled, it felt brittle and dry. To be fair, I don’t have the gorgeous, strong hair many of you do…mine is fine and slow-growing and only okay. But anyway, it felt so unhealthy.

I figured I should just get my ageing over with. And so I did. Over 18 months, I slowly grew out my roots without the help of any blending or a hair stylist. I just started to tuck it behind my ears (remember, your hair greys along the hairline first), so close to my face I looked silver almost straight away. If you’re curious and if you have grey roots just now, slick it all back and you’ll see — I’m betting that you look prettier than you think you do.

For me, coming to terms with my own ageing was the key: I wanted to be done colouring and I was ready to see what I looked like.

The upside?

• My hair feels like it did when I was eight years old. Soft, silky, healthy.

• The compliments from strangers. (I never, ever had hair compliments before I went grey.)

• The time I’ve saved. (This is huge for me…I was feeling like a prisoner of the hair salon, and my roots needed doing every two weeks, which was so unmanageable.)

• The expense.

• I got my ageing over and done with. I haven’t had to think about it for years and years.

The downside?

• I look older than my friends. It’s true, and I know I do.

So there you have it: an honest assessment from me. Yes, I look older…but I’m okay with that. And remarkably, it hasn’t impacted my ability to land a great job at my age, and work in a corporation where there there’s only one other women who has silver hair.

If there’s a little tug inside you wondering how it would be for you, you can always test it out for a few weeks, pull your hair back and just see how you look. You’ll know if you’re ready or not.

You’ll know if it’s for you (or not).

Your decisions are 100% your own, and I’m cheering you on…wherever you land.

I hope something beautiful happens in your world today.

Love, Catherine xx

P.S. The Fun Stuff.

I’m not a make-up person and never have been, but a few of my favourites are on sale for 50% off NOW at Priceline and so worth it. Love to share!

• This easy to wash off mascara: looks so natural and pretty. Here on Amazon if you’re not in Australia.

• These eyeliners, which are almost as good as the Victoria Beckham one, so I am told. Here on Amazon and I do love this colour!

• This eyebrow pencil - I like the dark grey one, and grey is hard to find. Brown always looks weird on me, since my eyebrows are black-ish, but not too dark? So dark grey is ideal.

• This concealer for dark circles (yes, I’ve been working wayyyy too much. You??) Here on Amazon.

Are you interested in reading The Bittersweet Bakery Cafe? Is it a bit tricky for you to get your own copy right now? I can help. Email me if you’d like me to send you one as a little gift. (And for the lovely people last week, books are in the post now!).

• The Bittersweet Bakery Cafe is now on Audible - 🇨🇦 Canadians 🇨🇦, at the moment this is the best way for you to get my book. My publisher is still trying to sort out distribution and I am so frustrated! Lucy Bell, exceptional actor, does a brilliant job. I hope you love it.

• Everyone else, thank you for your beautiful support. You can sink into Aussie beach living at The Bittersweet Bakery Cafe here in America, here in the UK, in Australia at BigW, all bookshops and online.

• Aussie authors Sophie Green and Rachel Johns invited me to their podcast. I’m excited because I’m a Sophie Green fan, and Sophie’s new book is coming soon (will link soon), and her latest is here: Art Hour at the Duchess Hotel.

• Want to help spread the word about The Bittersweet Bakery Cafe? Gift a copy, tell a friend, request it at your library. Thank you! 🩷

On a Rainy, Rainy Sunday...

Hello, my friends! And hello to all the new people here this week. I’m Catherine Greer, author of The Bittersweet Bakery Cafe, Canadian-Australian living in Sydney. Thank you for joining us…we’re a group of amazing women from all around the world. 🌼 I’m guessing you’ve signed up to my Sunday newsletter after reading my new book. I’m so glad you’re here!

Every week you can expect a little inspiration from me, or a life lesson I’ve learned. This week, it’s something so very simple — are you ready?

I don’t know about you, but i’ve had a wild, wild week.

I’m a bit tired from work deadlines (I work full time as a copywriter in a large organisation in Sydney, and I travel to Melbourne a lot, too. Love it, but BUSY.). And I’m lucky enough to be launching a book this month, a book that means so much to me!

And at the same time, there is life for all of us, right? Kids we’re worried about, family stuff, tricky work situations, new people we meet.

I’m trying to take a deep breath and think: every person is a lesson for me.

How I want to show up. How I want to love. How I want to speak to others or walk through this world.

Every person is a lesson.

In admiration (not envy).

In patience (not harsh words).

In love (not worry or fear). Why is this so hard with kids?! We want them to be okay, we want them to be happy, we worry-worry-worry when they’re going through their own trials, don’t we? I often forget to ditch the worry and invite in the LOVE.

This mind-switch helped me this week, and I hope it helps you, too. I’ve reminded myself that people are lessons for me…to help me learn as we all walk each other home.

I hope you have a beautiful Sunday, filled with unexpected tiny joys.

Love, Catherine xx

• Lucky enough to have an article in The Sydney Morning Herald and The Melbourne Age today. It’s locked unless you subscribe, and weirdly the photos are different everywhere. In print or online. But here’s a link to the final PDF if you’d all like to read.

• Loved this fun photo shoot of women as goddesses.

• Thank you a million for your support of The Bittersweet Bakery Cafe! I’d love you all to have a copy. Means the world to me to have you read my book. If you’re in a tricky place in your life and not buying books, email me and i’ll get a copy to you. Also, you can check your library in Australia.

  • Audiobook is here on Audible - so funny! Read by Aussie actor, Lucy Bell!

  • Kindle here in Canada (distribution is getting solved, but slowly. Ugh. Still so painful for me to have these problems in my home country, but the publisher is working on it 🇨🇦).

  • America - forever the land of incredible, beautiful poets, you can find it here.

  • Australia (Amazon, BigW, all bookshops, airports).

My 17 Year Old Son Cut My Hair During Lockdown

A special hello to all the new people this week! I’m Catherine, and you’ve likely found me from my book, The 10 Minute Fix. Thanks for joining us as we Love Our Age together! I’ll send a note like this every week on my Sunday morning (Australia) or Saturday evening (America, Canada, UK).

But first: oh, Germany! The floods look terrible…and I hope the rains stop by the weekend.

Our news is that lockdown continues here in Sydney and I got pretty desperate on Thursday. I think hair stylists are considered essential services but I didn’t want to be out there in Covid-ville.

That’s why I asked my 17 year old son to cut my hair. Eeep!

He’s done it before (totally untrained, I might add). It was a teeny bit NERVE-WRACKING but my hair is easy—a simple bob with no layers—and he did a good job.

I may have kept shouting instructions (you know how much teenagers love this, right??? To be told what they already know???).

Oh we had some fun in that bathroom, I can tell you…

I don’t think teenage eyes could roll back any further in their sockets than what I saw during my haircut.

You guys know I’m my natural grey, right? I stopped colouring when I was 49, so I’ve been completely silver since I turned 51. In the photo above, my hair looks dark when wet but it’s more of a light silver. At 88, my beautiful mum is completely Mrs.-Santa-white, so here’s hoping!

I’m not saying you should do what I did—and honestly I love the look of coloured hair—but in case you’re curious, here’s what I also love about being grey:

1. I like my silver hair. Yes, I do look older than my friends but I don’t mind.

2. My colour-free hair is so much healthier. (You won’t believe the difference if you stop colouring.)

3. It’s easy.

4. I also love the ‘grab bag’ effect: your silver colour might be absolutely beautiful but you just don’t know that about yourself yet!

Here’s the After haircut selfie. Not bad for a 17 year old skateboarder, right?

To compensate for my lack of colour, I find that I need a little more make-up and definitely darker eyebrows…but I’m forever grateful for less time in the stylist’s chair. That’s just me!

Hope you’re well in your part of the world. However you decide to do it, let’s love our age together :)

Catherine x

PS.

• Thinking of you if you have friends or family in Germany. xo Also cannot wait til Covid settles down here in Sydney, and now Melbourne is isn’t great either. I hope you and yours are coping with our extended lockdown.

• We’re doing puzzles to feel connected to the world. We’re finishing our first map puzzle, and I just ordered Europe and America. Thought it was good for me to brush up on my Geography, plus people are drawn to a puzzle on the coffee table like moths to a flame. It’s a great way to relax, chat and be together. These trays from IKEA (see below) are perfect to sort puzzles. They’re stackable!

• Here’s an article on How to Learn Geography quickly. Pro tip: big stuff first!

• Do you like pearl earrings? Smaller similar ones to mine here!

• New people: I love that you’re here! For fun and inspiration, check out LoveOurAge.com. Older posts you may like: when you can’t sleep and how to take a micro-break anytime.

Hello, I'm ageing. (And I'm okay)

Happy Halloween if you celebrate. We did a lot for two little munchkins who came to our door last night, but it was fun. Oh Corona, will you just give it a rest?? I think we’re all ready to be finished with you.

But today, drinking coffee in my pjs, I’m thinking about my face.

Can we talk about how I’m looking older? Can I tell you about my choices (which may be different from yours…and that’s okay.)

For me, all the delicious hormones of youth are gone now, and I’m not replacing them. I’m not botoxing. My hair is grey. My skin is a little thinner.

But my heart — my heart is beautiful.

And I’m guessing yours is, too.

Here’s the thing: do you care that my face is getting older? Do you mind that I have a huge teacher-frown-wrinkle on my forehead that shows I’ve listened and concentrated most of my life? Does it bother you that my skin isn’t snapping back to it, that I have age freckles, that all my parts that used to live up north are sliding a little southward?

No, you don’t. I’m sure you don’t.

I’m sure you love my wisdom and my friendship, my recipes and my cheerleading, my insistence that you can age and have fun, be yourself, grow older with grace and focus and energy.

Here’s what I think: I think it’s still worthwhile and important to scrub up and look lovely at every age. I’m all for pretty and FUN and enjoying our lives because, truly, we are all so lucky—despite the ‘hard’ that we all have.

But worrying about all the surface of me that I cannot control is not what I want to do.

I want to spend my last half loving my age. However many more years I get, I want to be comfortable and SHINE LIKE I AM.

If you guys have read The 10 Minute Fix you know that I like the work of Mel Robbins, an American coach, lawyer and speaker. She wrote this and I wanted to share (you can find her at melrobbins.com).

She’s right.

In my life, I feel proud of who I’ve become…and the people who matter to me really don’t mind one bit that I’m looking older. (If you’re one of the many beautiful strangers here who haven’t had coffee with me at my kitchen table — do you mind that I’m well and truly 54, and very unlike Nicole Kidman’s 53? Didn’t think so.)

Oh, yes, sometimes there’s this little voice in my head that says I have to convince people that I’ve still “got it” whatever IT is. But the truth talks a lot louder than that.

Truth is: we are here right now. We’re lucky for every day that adds a fine line to our faces. And I’m not going to spend one single moment worrying about whether this age, my age, is less beautiful than the last.

Let’s live it up, and love our age together…whatever that looks like for me and for you.

Catherine x

PS.

• Hello to all the new people this week! You’re so welcome here in my little corner of the internet.

• Like my sunnies?? Oh you guys, I’m starting to feel like a micro-influencer when I tell you where I got this and that…and honestly no one has asked me about them but I think they’re cute. Now I’m laughing at myself!! If you want to know, I bought them at H&M for $12 (current season). Similar here on amazon.

Why I Went Gray at 49

Hello!

Let’s start with a happy disclaimer: I believe we should all have the freedom to look any way we want to. For me, that’s gray hair. For you, maybe not.

But since a few of you at Love Our Age are gray-curious, I thought I’d tell you my story: why I chose to go gray at 49.

I LOVE my gray hair. Are you intrigued? Want to see my transition? (I’m not trying to convince you at all…I just thought I’d share my journey.)

I went gray s-l-o-w-l-y. I just stopped colouring at 49 and waited for my blonde hair to grow.

It looked okay at first, almost unnoticeable in the sun, and the wide strip of roots really didn’t bother me. But since my hair grows super slowly, and I wanted time to get to know myself as my true colour shone through, I finally reached a point where I probably looked like I was letting myself go.

And because I was the only person I knew going gray, I spent a lot of time explaining to whomever would listen that I was growing into my gray hair, blah blah blah, and why.

Honestly, I felt like I had to apologise for myself.

Apologise for my own hair freedom! Stupid, right?

I also felt the teeniest bit that by making this choice for me, I was somehow perceived as judging other women. And that felt blech…because it wasn’t true. In my heart, I am ‘You do you and I’ll do me!’ but when the conversation came up — and it did — women universally told me I’d look older and “age myself.”

Well, I agree.

I look older than women my age who colour their hair.

But for me, that’s okay.

Here’s why looking older doesn’t bother me. I am gray. I was gray underneath the blonde anyway…so I felt more like myself when I let the silver shine through.

The half and half part wasn’t lovely, but it wasn’t terrible. I mean, terrible is being unwell or worrying about family or having disasters, right? Terrible isn’t HAIR.

Finally, after about 18 months of slow growing, I looked like this. This is me, ‘young but gray’ and YES, I think I look older than other 54 year olds, but I LOVE MY HAIR. Soft. Silky. Silver. I don’t feel that the gray really registers…I just think I look like myself.

One upside is that I’ve gained hours and hours and dollars and dollars of my life back from not being in the stylist’s chair every six weeks, then four weeks, then three weeks…and I will never have roots again.

But that’s my choice. Yours might be totally different and I know you’re rocking your look!

As for you, my friends, you should do exactly what YOU love! But if you want to explore going gray, let me say this: it’s actually FUN. It’s so much fun to see what colour your hair truly is! And anyone can transform back to blonde (or brunette) in an hour. But I never will :)

Enjoy your journey as you grow older and lovelier. Love your age however you want to…and thank you for listening to my story!

Catherine x

PS.

• Hope that answers the “gray hair questions” from new readers! I feel weird posting a whole bunch of photos of me, me, me!

• Last night I made these to take on a hike with some new girlfriends! (Dessert in the middle of hike? That sounds exactly like me! Ha!) Recipe is here…Raw Brownie Bites, gluten and dairy free.

Slowly Does It...

Welcome to Friday. For everyone new this week, I had my husband snap this photo of me over morning coffee so I could say hi. Here’s the ‘up and dressed during a pandemic’ Catherine behind Love Our Age. It’s easy to sign up for lots of stuff and forget who is creating the content. So here’s a big Canadian-Australian hello from me to you!

So many thoughts this morning…all random. Let’s go!

First up, are you doing okay? (Really?) There’s so much advice floating around, but I want to tell you I’m thinking of so many of you — friends and family and complete strangers — who are reading my Love Our Age blog posts. If you need to chat, I’m here.

Second…this is just about the way we look, and I don’t mean to diminish all the worries during this difficult time, but in case you’re wondering (or scared about it), going grey is totally fine. I’m on the other side, and it’s okay. You can always go back to your version of ‘normal’. Now might be a time to pull your hair back and see if you love your silver roots. You may find — like I did — that you like the way you look. Or not. But it’s an option.

And last of all, however we’re feeling — productive or scared, accomplishing stuff or watching Netflix in trackies — it’s all okay. I’m seeing two camps emerge on the internet: the do-ers and the pause-rs. We can be either or both.

Busy or pausing.

I’m heading inward to pause and think. For me right now, slowly does it. And that’s okay.

Thinking of you all today. Stay safe out there.

Love Catherine x

Will Grey Hair Make Me Look Older?

Today, let’s get curious.

Let me give a big shout out to being intrigued about all our options.

What I love most about living now is that we have more freedom than ever before to pursue what feels good to us. Wondering about our lives, our choices and the changes we can make is exciting. So today I wanted to have a chat about being Grey Curious.

Ready?

Grey hair is trending, but when I chat about it with women I know, the same question comes up every time: will grey hair make me look older?

Will I look older than my friends?

My answer is yes and also no.

Let me explain: first of all, I don’t think we have to ever make ourselves “look younger” unless we want to. LOVE OUR AGE is all about embracing who we are, and not feeling constrained or restricted by what we should be. I want to be a part of the Age Positive movement. I want to be able to work and stay relevant — regardless of my age. I want to be happy and attractive and fun — regardless of my age. I want to be fit and active as I am, now, and not try to chase 30 forever. In short, I want to allow myself to get older and enjoy it. That’s my goal.

So does grey hair make me look older?

From a distance, I’m sure I look older than my friends who colour their hair. Put us together up close, and my face looks young, but my hair looks older. So I guess all things considered, I do look older.

Has that mattered to me? No. Because I think I look beautiful and fifty-three.

Could you be different or have a different opinion about your life? Yes.

But at the same time as looking older, I also think I look GOOD.

Put me beside my colouring-friends. Silver hair is universally pretty when you take care of it, regardless of the colour of grey.

Here’s why:

• Your grey hair will match your skin tone perfectly.

• Your eye colour will look so much more beautiful. That surprised me.

• Grey hair makes you rethink your wardrobe. Now I look great in black and grey. Grey used to look terrible on me blonde, not great on me light brunette.

• It gives you back HOURS of your life and thousands of dollars a year.

• Best of all — your hair will feel so very healthy: silky and strong.

And because everything is natural and matches (skin and hair), you may look totally gorgeous grey.

Here’s a super fun experiment with no risk: let your roots go for five weeks. Stand in front of your mirror and pull your hair back. You’ll see your natural colour and you’ll see your eye colour looking so beautiful and startling.

Then decide — try grey for a few more weeks, or stop and colour.

Whatever you want to do with your hair or your body, your life is YOUR choice. But please don’t think you ever have to age a certain way. We can be beautiful at every age.

I went grey at 48, before nearly every woman I know. I have one friend in Canada who is grey, and a sister in law four years younger than I am who never coloured her hair. That’s it.

But here’s the benefit: I’m done ageing.

This is me, walking into the future.

Can you think of this as a fun experiment?

It’s fun that you have the freedom to check out your roots a little and see what kind of silver is there, waiting for you, without ever having to commit.

Stay curious. Even grey curious! Be curious about every single thing you might like to change — to help you feel the way you want to feel.

Let’s love our age,

Catherine

PS. Here’s me blonde…in 2016. Mwah!

And here’s me, half n half. Fun!! (And the boys are so little!! Again, 2016?)