Why I Went Gray at 49

Hello!

Let’s start with a happy disclaimer: I believe we should all have the freedom to look any way we want to. For me, that’s gray hair. For you, maybe not.

But since a few of you at Love Our Age are gray-curious, I thought I’d tell you my story: why I chose to go gray at 49.

I LOVE my gray hair. Are you intrigued? Want to see my transition? (I’m not trying to convince you at all…I just thought I’d share my journey.)

I went gray s-l-o-w-l-y. I just stopped colouring at 49 and waited for my blonde hair to grow.

It looked okay at first, almost unnoticeable in the sun, and the wide strip of roots really didn’t bother me. But since my hair grows super slowly, and I wanted time to get to know myself as my true colour shone through, I finally reached a point where I probably looked like I was letting myself go.

And because I was the only person I knew going gray, I spent a lot of time explaining to whomever would listen that I was growing into my gray hair, blah blah blah, and why.

Honestly, I felt like I had to apologise for myself.

Apologise for my own hair freedom! Stupid, right?

I also felt the teeniest bit that by making this choice for me, I was somehow perceived as judging other women. And that felt blech…because it wasn’t true. In my heart, I am ‘You do you and I’ll do me!’ but when the conversation came up — and it did — women universally told me I’d look older and “age myself.”

Well, I agree.

I look older than women my age who colour their hair.

But for me, that’s okay.

Here’s why looking older doesn’t bother me. I am gray. I was gray underneath the blonde anyway…so I felt more like myself when I let the silver shine through.

The half and half part wasn’t lovely, but it wasn’t terrible. I mean, terrible is being unwell or worrying about family or having disasters, right? Terrible isn’t HAIR.

Finally, after about 18 months of slow growing, I looked like this. This is me, ‘young but gray’ and YES, I think I look older than other 54 year olds, but I LOVE MY HAIR. Soft. Silky. Silver. I don’t feel that the gray really registers…I just think I look like myself.

One upside is that I’ve gained hours and hours and dollars and dollars of my life back from not being in the stylist’s chair every six weeks, then four weeks, then three weeks…and I will never have roots again.

But that’s my choice. Yours might be totally different and I know you’re rocking your look!

As for you, my friends, you should do exactly what YOU love! But if you want to explore going gray, let me say this: it’s actually FUN. It’s so much fun to see what colour your hair truly is! And anyone can transform back to blonde (or brunette) in an hour. But I never will :)

Enjoy your journey as you grow older and lovelier. Love your age however you want to…and thank you for listening to my story!

Catherine x

PS.

• Hope that answers the “gray hair questions” from new readers! I feel weird posting a whole bunch of photos of me, me, me!

• Last night I made these to take on a hike with some new girlfriends! (Dessert in the middle of hike? That sounds exactly like me! Ha!) Recipe is here…Raw Brownie Bites, gluten and dairy free.

Slowly Does It...

Welcome to Friday. For everyone new this week, I had my husband snap this photo of me over morning coffee so I could say hi. Here’s the ‘up and dressed during a pandemic’ Catherine behind Love Our Age. It’s easy to sign up for lots of stuff and forget who is creating the content. So here’s a big Canadian-Australian hello from me to you!

So many thoughts this morning…all random. Let’s go!

First up, are you doing okay? (Really?) There’s so much advice floating around, but I want to tell you I’m thinking of so many of you — friends and family and complete strangers — who are reading my Love Our Age blog posts. If you need to chat, I’m here.

Second…this is just about the way we look, and I don’t mean to diminish all the worries during this difficult time, but in case you’re wondering (or scared about it), going grey is totally fine. I’m on the other side, and it’s okay. You can always go back to your version of ‘normal’. Now might be a time to pull your hair back and see if you love your silver roots. You may find — like I did — that you like the way you look. Or not. But it’s an option.

And last of all, however we’re feeling — productive or scared, accomplishing stuff or watching Netflix in trackies — it’s all okay. I’m seeing two camps emerge on the internet: the do-ers and the pause-rs. We can be either or both.

Busy or pausing.

I’m heading inward to pause and think. For me right now, slowly does it. And that’s okay.

Thinking of you all today. Stay safe out there.

Love Catherine x

Will Grey Hair Make Me Look Older?

Today, let’s get curious.

Let me give a big shout out to being intrigued about all our options.

What I love most about living now is that we have more freedom than ever before to pursue what feels good to us. Wondering about our lives, our choices and the changes we can make is exciting. So today I wanted to have a chat about being Grey Curious.

Ready?

Grey hair is trending, but when I chat about it with women I know, the same question comes up every time: will grey hair make me look older?

Will I look older than my friends?

My answer is yes and also no.

Let me explain: first of all, I don’t think we have to ever make ourselves “look younger” unless we want to. LOVE OUR AGE is all about embracing who we are, and not feeling constrained or restricted by what we should be. I want to be a part of the Age Positive movement. I want to be able to work and stay relevant — regardless of my age. I want to be happy and attractive and fun — regardless of my age. I want to be fit and active as I am, now, and not try to chase 30 forever. In short, I want to allow myself to get older and enjoy it. That’s my goal.

So does grey hair make me look older?

From a distance, I’m sure I look older than my friends who colour their hair. Put us together up close, and my face looks young, but my hair looks older. So I guess all things considered, I do look older.

Has that mattered to me? No. Because I think I look beautiful and fifty-three.

Could you be different or have a different opinion about your life? Yes.

But at the same time as looking older, I also think I look GOOD.

Put me beside my colouring-friends. Silver hair is universally pretty when you take care of it, regardless of the colour of grey.

Here’s why:

• Your grey hair will match your skin tone perfectly.

• Your eye colour will look so much more beautiful. That surprised me.

• Grey hair makes you rethink your wardrobe. Now I look great in black and grey. Grey used to look terrible on me blonde, not great on me light brunette.

• It gives you back HOURS of your life and thousands of dollars a year.

• Best of all — your hair will feel so very healthy: silky and strong.

And because everything is natural and matches (skin and hair), you may look totally gorgeous grey.

Here’s a super fun experiment with no risk: let your roots go for five weeks. Stand in front of your mirror and pull your hair back. You’ll see your natural colour and you’ll see your eye colour looking so beautiful and startling.

Then decide — try grey for a few more weeks, or stop and colour.

Whatever you want to do with your hair or your body, your life is YOUR choice. But please don’t think you ever have to age a certain way. We can be beautiful at every age.

I went grey at 48, before nearly every woman I know. I have one friend in Canada who is grey, and a sister in law four years younger than I am who never coloured her hair. That’s it.

But here’s the benefit: I’m done ageing.

This is me, walking into the future.

Can you think of this as a fun experiment?

It’s fun that you have the freedom to check out your roots a little and see what kind of silver is there, waiting for you, without ever having to commit.

Stay curious. Even grey curious! Be curious about every single thing you might like to change — to help you feel the way you want to feel.

Let’s love our age,

Catherine

PS. Here’s me blonde…in 2016. Mwah!

And here’s me, half n half. Fun!! (And the boys are so little!! Again, 2016?)