The Lesson of 'Not This'

Hello, internet friends…hope you’re enjoying your weekend.

I’ve started making mint tea for myself, similar to this beautiful way it’s served at my local cafe. It feels like abundance—stuffing all that mint in the tea pot (that’s how I make mine at home). Something for you to try if you have mint in the garden. Fresh mint tea is just surprisingly better: not difficult, just better.

Today I’ve been thinking about how we change, and what we need to invite into our lives to grow into the next version of ourselves. It always makes me think of Elizabeth Gilbert’s words turned into a beautiful card by the amazing Emily Henderson at Em and Friends. You can find this card here.

Through every season of my life, I’ve run headlong into some Not This moments. Maybe you have too. And because we don’t know what’s next, it’s easy to feel like we’re stuck…but we’re not.

We’re feeling ‘Not This.’

All we need to do with Not This is sit for a while—for as long as it takes—and listen until our truth shows up.

I don’t know about you, but it’s so easy for me to argue with my own deepest truth, to try to convince myself that I’m not hearing what I’m hearing, that I shouldn’t feel this way, that I’m maybe too old or inexperienced. I worry that I lack the talent, connections or opportunities.

But the deepest truth hangs around and whispers to us: Not this…it’s THIS. Try this. See what happens.

We can get better at so many things: waiting a bit, listening to our hearts, knowing our deepest truth, taking a small step forward. That’s my plan right now. I hope it’s yours, too.

Enjoy your weekend. I’m cheering for us all.

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• My favourite book by Elizabeth Gilbert is Big Magic, and I’ve been meaning to read her novel, The Signature of All Things, published in 2014. City of Girls was not for me—that’s how I always talk about books and art because I know how hard they are to create and every book is for someone. You may love it…America in the 1940s.

• Tea and a book…always a beautiful combination!

Hello Spring, it's nearly Autumn...

Today in Sydney: so much rain. There’s flooding in New South Wales, and I hope you’re safe and dry. We woke up to State Emergency Services evacuation warning texts for some areas, and we live in a particularly rainy suburb but thankfully our area of Sydney is still okay. If you’re in warning zones in New South Wales, I hope you’re safe and I’m thinking of you.

On this side of the world, autumn, and on the other side there’s spring.

I live in two places in my mind and heart — that’s the life of an immigrant. My birthday is in spring and fall (beginning of May), Christmas happens in winter and summer. I always think we can choose to feel strange about this or good…experiencing both, living both, and knowing what the other side feels like.

Mangoes at Christmas. Christmas snowfall. Either way can feel like magic.

It helps me to remember a little tip I learned — that happiness is 50-50. I used to want to be happy all the time, but the older I get, the more I believe this is true. Fifty percent happy, fifty percent other is do-able, and (as I always tell myself) it’s okay to walk through the low side and know that the good feelings are coming back.

Whether it’s family or our dreams, finances or opportunities, even health or sickness…I know that life rolls on in peaks and troughs and everything feels better weathered together.

Happy Sunday, my friends. Enjoy your Spring in northern climates, and stay safe and dry Down Under.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• No news yet about how to help people in flooded areas of NSW — I hope you’re keeping safe.

• Fun thing — water lilies are going in my pool, my friends. Aren’t they pretty for winter? I got mine at IKEA.

• Super useful — the best Lululemon dupes for workout leggings are here. Really lovely! I want the snakeskin ones because…why not live a little? My favourite workout tip is this: the louder the music, the more fun I have and the harder I work. Happy Sunday!

Hello, Beautiful Day.

Hi everyone. Question for us this morning.

What if this day was completely neutral?

What if anything could happen, and we could simply make it mean whatever we want it to mean?

I’ve been told I’m optimistic, that I’m sometimes irritatingly positive, but the alternative just never seems like a good idea to me. If I can choose my thoughts, then mostly I want to choose some good ones.

Even during these tough times, I believe that every day arrives neutral and ends neutral, too. We get to shape our days to some extent, and no matter what happens, we can think about our lives however we choose to.

Sometimes it’s good to zoom out and get some perspective, right? This week, I drew a little chart while I had a big talk with my husband. It looked like the future for us:

This is our plan, if we’re lucky with health and family. Yours might be different, of course, and we all want to live our lives in a way that’s meaningful and true.

For us, we’ll continue to work as long as possible. We both enjoy working — we find it stimulating and interesting and we both love being on the go. We hope to invest in being involved grandparents — that matters to us. Our boys and our family have been the heartbeat of our lives together, and our family is the best thing we’ve ever built. And do you see our very unpopular point of view with that little question mark…we don’t care much if we travel? Really, we just don’t care.

Here’s the thing: when you draw out your life in however many columns you have left, attitude becomes everything.

No one knows what the future will hold, but when we take a bird’s eye view of the best case scenario of the years we may have left, it’s really easy to get clear on what we value.

Right now more than ever, the days are long but the years are short. Covid’s been rough, with a few hidden gifts inside like more time getting to know ourselves, or loving our families, or making our homes feel more like “home.” Right now we’re all caught up in the daily grind and thoughts of “will this ever end”? But I believe it’s also really important to pull focus, like they do when they shoot movies, to back up our Life Camera a bit so we get a look at the full picture.

Then we can decide a few things.

We can choose how to think. We can decide what we want to happen, and take steps toward that if we can….come what may.

That’s the question I’m trying to ask myself right now. And hello, beautiful decades (if I get you). What will I do with you to make the biggest impact I can with — as poet Mary Oliver says — “my one wild and precious life”?

Sending some good weekend vibes your way. I hope you’re doing okay.

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• Texas is close to my heart. I spent a lot of time there in my 20s with my snowbird Canadian parents. Here’s how we can help during the storms.

• Read Mary Oliver’s poem, “The Summer Day”. (Thank you, America and Americans, for sharing your amazing poets with the world.)

• My beautiful friend, Tara, a lovely Texan-turned-Aussie, gave me the little aqua notebook. You can find it here.

Pssst....

Hi, friends. It’s the weekend and I’m doing crazy stuff…as in, I’m stretching out of my shell.

I don’t know if you feel the same, but I’m sooooo tired of the current reality — Covid, illness, making do around the world, waiting for a solution, all of that.

I’m not psychologically stuck — still moving forward — but I do feel like Life might be handing us a big black bunker and asking us to step inside, and today I’m saying NO, THANK YOU. Nope. I’m choosing some better thoughts.

I’m getting risky in my own mind. I’m deciding that it’s time to act on some things, to make a move forward, to step OUT creatively.

Maybe I’m doing it in reaction to all the physical Covid restrictions (which we follow around here). My brain, my mind, my thoughts want to get a whole lot bigger.

And YOU? How are you? Really, how are you, in case nobody has asked you today? How are your thoughts and do you need a little wake up call to turn your incredible brain toward something new?

I do.

This is my favourite line from American poet, Amy David.

Yes, I do.

I want to go make some mistakes. For me, it’s the only way I grow.

If you want to grow bigger and make some mistakes too, I’m over here cheering for you. I hope you enjoy your weekend, and find a way to stretch a little.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• I’m trying to do something new and fun (for me) — will let you know how it goes if it goes!

• Welcome to all the new people this week. I appreciate you!

• Anyone up for making the most delicious salad on the planet? It’s my Fresh Corn & Quinoa Salad and it’s so healthy you won’t regret it.

I'm Working On This...

Hey, Happy Sunday. Welcome to you if you’re new…there are so many of you this week! I’m guessing you’ve signed up for my weekly emails after reading The 10 Minute Fix. I’m honestly happy you’re here and I hope I can offer something that uplifts and inspires you today.

Right now this is my Sunday morning view: a rearranged lounge room after the Christmas tree was put away, and I always feel like moving furniture gives me a fresh new start.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all of us around the world — Covid, Covid, go away — and I’m trying to find any kind of silver lining. For me, it’s this: I’m learning to make the most of my home.

Here’s the disclaimer: we are so very lucky here in Australia, and I wish I could have you ALL over for coffee and cinnamon buns right now because our Covid situation is really good, our government has been wise, it’s summer and we are better than just okay. I watch the news and I know it’s easier for us, way easier.

And yet, the gift of Covid is this: we are all noticing our own homes. Covid has made me think about all the things I can do for free, with just a little effort, to make our nest a whole lot nicer.

• Change the sheets more often.

• Put away what’s on my countertop in the bathroom and kitchen.

• Sweep the tiles at the front door and wipe the door down, so it’s clean.

• Faux flowers when I can’t have real…I know, I know, am I an old lady now? But these lilies above are so realistic. I’ll link below.

• A cup of tea at night in a china cup I love.

Yes, the simple things. Little fixes to make our homes more “home” and prettier, or more functional, or just feel like a nicer space to be.

Truth is, we can choose to do this, right? Truth also is…it doesn’t even necessarily take longer, or make more work for us. Because here’s the thing: we can spend time wishing life were different, or we can spend that time making the best of it.

I read something this week that stopped me in my tracks. When that happens, I know I’ve found a lesson I need to learn.

Peace. It’s elusive right now during crazy Covid times, but it’s there, waiting for us.

I hope you enjoy your weekend around your home, and I’m thinking of you, spread around this world…sprinkled in Canada and Australia, America and England, India and Germany, and on and on.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Those lilies are here, and they’re super convincing in real life. You can order online.

• Tip for faux flowers: I have three different bunches, and I only keep them on display a short while. Then I store them in a vase in a tall cupboard so I never get tired of them. And of course, when I can, it’s so lovely to buy fresh.

• Also this little tip: any green thing from outside, or any wintery branch, can look pretty and it’s free for us to enjoy. All we need to do is take time and notice, and bring the outside in.

"Oh, that's not for me..."

Well, hello friends. I woke up to a beautiful sunny Sunday and I’m so excited about that. I hope there’s something peaceful and pretty for you to look at in your world right now. Is there anything prettier than sunshine or snow? Starlight, twilight, summer days or winter…I look for the beauty.

That’s why we keep our Christmas tree up for ages. We all love it (I taught the kids — ha! sorry future-partners….my boys will want the tree up for months…and by the way, would you like to inherit 12,000,000 nutcrackers???)

Yesterday it was time to take down the tree, and this is how I do it: I wrap every ornament separately in coloured tissue paper, co-ordinated with each lovely decoration, and store them in a big tub. Then when we decorate the tree next year, we “open” every ornament and often make a little surprised comment about how much we love this one or that one.

From here, I can feel you doing two things:

1. Agreeing with me — you do something similar! So fun!

2. Gritting your teeth with the entire pain-in-the-buttness of this approach.

And I am who I am.

And you are who you are.

Do we have to be the same for us to love and respect each other? No. But it seems like right now we give our opinion and give it in a way that can make people feel cancelled. That’s the new term, right? We get ‘corrected’ or get ‘cancelled.’ As an author, I get this a lot. In public. And what people say stands there forever. It’s the price of being a creative and sharing your work with the world.

I wonder if we could try this instead:

It’s such a lovely thing to say, or do. Truly it is — because it leaves some room in the world for everyone else.

Book you don’t like? That’s not for me.

Person you don’t like? She’s not for me.

Decision someone else made that you don’t like? No, that’s not for me.

I know life is not as simple as this when you look at the big issues, like justice and freedom and equality and lawfulness. I know, absolutely, that there are things in the world where we should stand up, correct others, vote, march, fight.

But I also know there are so many times where we can use kindness instead. And “That’s not for me” really is the truth.

It’s not for me, but it might be for someone else.

Hope your Christmas decorations are safely down, the room is rearranged, and there’s a little something beautiful you can find in your world today. It’s tough out there, and we need to keep our spirits up.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Did everyone watch the inauguration? Amanda Gorman was absolutely stunning!

• If you need a little healthy-ish sweet today, for the new people here…you can try these little no-bake brownie bites. GF, DF, V.

• Hey, if you’d like to leave me a lovely review or a quick star-rating for The 10 Minute Fix on amazon…sending big hugs your way. Thank you.

Sharks! And being brave...

Well, after a super rainy December in Sydney we’ve finally got our summer. Right this minute, the laundry’s drying outside, there are pool towels everywhere, teens have been enjoying swimming at our place and I’ve been loving the warm weather and sunshine.

I know: we are so lucky. Covid during winter isn’t great—I know this because we did our autumn-into-winter when it all started in 2020. Summer does make Covid a lot easier to handle, and in Australia we’re fortunate with fewer people unwell and lighter restrictions on gatherings.

Wherever you are today, can I share a snippet of my world to make you feel a little better?

I’ve been thinking about bravery. For personal reasons that I’m not ready to share, I need a lot of bravery this year. Life is staring me right in the face like a smiling shark and it’s time for me to grow up (yet again) and do some hard things.

You guys, I am scared. I love comfort and success and celebration and ease. I love having fun and being fun for other people.

I don’t love swimming with sharks.

You want to know what I do when I have to grow (or grow up)? I pull out my thoughts and take a look at what I’m believing.

• If there’s FEAR, I need IDEAS.

• If there’s WORRY, I need PRACTICAL STEPS.

• If there’s SPINNING IN CIRCLES, I need a PLAN. (A plan that feels do-able, small steps, believable.)

I try to choose better thoughts as if a waiter’s walking by with several thoughts on a platter and I can take some new ones that will serve me better.

Today I read this and it helped.

Maybe it will help you, too.

I know the world is so hard right now for so many people. Yes, we’re lucky (infinitely lucky) in Australia because we’ve got summer and less Covid than so many other countries in the world. But here’s the truth: we all have our things. Remember this post? Nobody rides for free. It’s a good one, so if you’re new and you missed it, you might want to take a second to read it today.

All of us are in this together. We have right now—no guarantees of anything beyond that. Let’s go out there and try to make this weekend a good one…sharks, no sharks, or something in between.

Sending love (& loving all the new people who are here because of The 10 Minute Fix. Wow, I’m honoured that so many of you around the world are loving this book. I wrote it for us, so thank you! More friends! Yayyyyyy! You’re so welcome here every Sunday.)

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Okay, this made me laugh SO MUCH…see my Christmas swimmers above? That was one of my favourite presents. I was wearing that bikini last night when our 20-year old son walked in from his Brazilian Jujitsu class. He looked up and said, “Well THAT’S a stab in the eyeballs.” Seriously, I just about peed laughing. Do you think he’s had too many lovely young women in bikinis around this summer, and not a lot of 54-year-old mothers??? But body love means that I honour my own choices, and I’m choosing two-piece forever. You do you and I’ll do me! xo.

• Anyway, if you love my swimmers, you can order online and they’re such a great price. They have a real 1970s vibe, the fabric is thick and feels like terry towelling, and I love them. Not an #ad, but you can get yours here. Top & bottom sold separately.

Body Love

Hello there, beautiful person.

It’s been a big week — so please know I’m thinking of all of us with Covid, political unrest, vaccine news and just all the things that we can’t seem to control right now.

But…

Is it okay if we have a little talk about our bodies today? In a topsy-turvy world, sometimes it’s good to centre in on what we can take care of to make things a little better.

Let me tell you a story: I’ve always been wiggly and a mover. My childhood nickname was Squirmie, and I remember talking so much during mealtime that my plate was always mostly full when everyone else was finished because…hello, Fun! Even though I tried most things (volleyball, basketball, figure skating) I hated sports and I was terrible at anything with a ball, but I loved to walk for hours. Fast forward to adulthood, and I’ve always done the basics. I’ve been a runner, exercised, went to fitness classes, dance classes, women’s rugby, group training in the park, Zumba, and now training in our at-home garage gym—which is really just two mats, some weights and a couple of machines.

So I’ve put that exercise tick in the box, and about half of it was done grudgingly.

But this morning I slept in, and in that delicious well-slept and dreamy state I had a big realisation. I want to step outside my own body this year…and actually learn to love it.

The Year of Body Love.

Not health, not weight loss, not exercise, not doing something gruelling because it’s good for me. Nope. I’ve had a mindset shift. I want to take my own body by the hand and treat me better.

For me, what does that look like?

• I want to see moving my body as a privilege that I “get to do”.

• I want to discover what I might feel like if I were truly strong.

• I want to work on my posture.

• I want to move more every day — long and slow, outside whenever possible. I want to breathe more fresh air, sit less and definitely stretch my arms above my head so much more often than I do now.

(Check yourself: how many times a day do you stretch your arms above your head? For me, not enough.)

Body Love isn’t about another resolution to do better because we’ve been bad at taking care of ourselves. It comes from a different place.

Like this:

I’m intrigued by this, and a little excited to try.

I hope you have a relaxing, peaceful Sunday…and that this CRAZY first week of the new year held some joy.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Hello, new people!

• I’m in the middle of reading Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library and I know wny the world is loving it. Have you read it yet? It’s giving me the most amazing dreams about my own ‘sliding doors’ life and what could have been…

Happy New Everything

Well, Happy New Year to you!

Since so many of you are new here, you’re getting this little newsletter from me (Catherine Greer) because you enjoyed my book, The 10 Minute Fix (available here in America, Canada and Australia) and you subscribed to my blog at Love Our Age.

This is a sneaky hello because I’m officially on Christmas break, but I wanted to let you know I’ll inspire you with weekly posts every Sunday in 2021. The rest of the time, I’ll be working on new books, running my copywriting business and teaching an online writing course or two.

Deep breath!

But for today, if you’re at all like I am, which is up to your neck in promises you’ve made to yourself about how disciplined you’ll be in 2021, then it’s time to pause the overwhelm.

Instead, let’s focus on this simple fix, my friends:

Take a moment to think about it. What’s the best you can hope for?? It’s good for us to dream.

Wishing you blue skies (or blue nail polish, if that’s not possible) and so much joy over the simple things in 2021.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• New — I’ll write to you once a week (not twice) in 2021! I need to get some books written!

• Check out all my previous posts at Love Our Age.

The Year of (Blank...)

Hello my friends, and hello everyone new this week!

So much is happening just now here in Sydney:

• Darn! There’s a Covid cluster in the Northern Beaches, so for us that means a teen who can’t skate and can’t have his mates over…that’s where they all live.

• I stepped on a tiny piece of glass this week and have to hobble to the doctor to get it dug out of my foot — youch.

• And Christmas is nearly here….hooray!

Honestly, I can’t wait for next week when our little family of four is ready to settle in for Christmas movies, treats, card games and general fun.

At the same time, I’ve been thinking about 2021 and I was inspired by Rebel Wilson when she talked about her Year of Health in 2020.

I think I’m going to have a Year Of Cheering Myself On.

I need to write more books, and I want to get better at taking really good care of myself. I need to be my own best cheerleader. That’s my plan for 2021.

What about you?

(If you want to share, I’d love to hear about your plan for 2021. Inspire me…for you, what is it The Year of?)

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Some Christmas fun — I got this top and my sons say I look a bit like Snow White but it’s super cute in person.

• I made peanut butter balls last week (my husband’s Christmas favourite…they’re kind of like Reese’s peanut butter cups). I found a delicious recipe here.

• If you need some sweet gifts for girlfriends, everyone is loving The 10 Minute Fix. Here in Canada, and here in Australia.

It's the little things, baby.

Today will be a busy day, but in my heart I’m quiet.

Last night I had the most beautiful walk with the guy I love…through the neighbourhood streets, past the kids riding bikes, watching the sun sink orange and low, hiking through the bush at the end of our tree-filled suburb.

Kookaburra song.

Rain and sun showers, then a rainbow.

Oh, 2020, you’ve been a wild and sometimes scary ride.

It makes me think of a line from a song I used to love: It’s the little things, baby, that give you away…when you try to deny how you feel.

How are you?

How are you right now, this second? I’m asking in case no one else has…

How I feel is this: glad we made it, and wondering about 2021. Hoping for a safe vaccine for the rest of the world and all the people I love. Ready for a rest and a new laptop. I’ve worn this one out with all my tapping. The decorations are up, the gifts are wrapped and my favourite season is on the way. Christmas-Summer is lovely, if you want to know. I miss a white one, but a green one with kookaburra song is also really good.

We are lucky here in my little circle in Australia, and we’re used to celebrating Christmas as an island of four. We’ve done it for years and years. If you’re a little worried, a little tired, or wondering how you’ll feel in this season where everything is different this year, I’ve got a simple idea.

It’s the little things, baby. Notice the tiny and beautiful. It’s there—peace—waiting for you.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• Our tree out front is so pretty but hard to capture in a photo. Wish you could come over at night for a cup of tea and a sweet treat.

• Missing this Hyams Beach sunset. A little thing, and so very pretty.

My personal Before & After

Hi everyone, and a huge hello to all the new people this week. In case someone hasn’t asked you this weekend, how is your heart doing?

Me? Yesterday I felt a little low, so I did what I usually do — my ‘go to’ trick to feel better. I give myself a personal Before and After. I like to call it this: Clean up what you’ve got.

It can take as long or as little as you like — a true 10 Minute Fix! Here are some quick ideas:

• Wipe out the cutlery drawer.

• Stand in your closet. Quickly hang your clothes in order of item type, then colour. Boom!

• Get rid of any coffee mugs you don’t love. Same for towels. Donate, repurpose, recycle.

• Move the furniture.

• Are there old papers you need to shred, papers that are holding you to your own past? (I’m talking old bills, tax returns from years ago, or something that makes you unhappy?). Let yourself be free of those things.

Yesterday, I just had this urge to purge.

I wanted to be DONE WITH THINGS. So I reordered my clothes in my closet, wiped out the cutlery tray, recycled two mugs, cut up an old towel to use as rags and then I did is this: I learned to use the pressure washer. Normally this is a job that I would kinda sorta pretend I don’t know how to do and leave it to my husband but…I wanted a really great Before & After.

So I took myself outside and learned how. It felt mesmerising. I’m laughing at myself thinking how silly I am that clean tiles make me feel so much better BUT…they did.

Is it time to give yourself a little personal Before & After?

Do you have the energy today to clean up what you’ve got?

I promise, it’s a great little 10 Minute Fix.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Still loving my tree swing chair!

• Fun tip — Covid is rotten but Facetime can make it better. I took my lovely Canadian mum & our friend Marlene on a “tour” of the Christmas decorations at Bonds Nursery (Flower Power) yesterday. I showed them the prettiest gum leaf wreath, but I should have snapped my own photo for you here because the website photos are awful! But it was so pretty in person. And this oyster shell wreath was also beautiful.

• We can all help entertain people who aren’t getting out much with a quick video tour of something fun…a winter walk, the decorations in our neighbourhood, all of it.
  

"That's for other people."

Hello from sweltering Sydney!

Today, as half of you rest after Thanksgiving, and some of us roast slowly in the heat or have the aircon cranked to high, and some of you walk through a wintery day…I had a thought I wanted to share.

This week I sat in the parking lot at the mall talking with my cousin in Canada about why her family of origin (who lived so close to a community ski hill) never learned how to ski. And she said something that stopped me in my tracks.

Whoa. Stop everything.

How many times in my life have I not done something because I thought, “That’s for other people”?

Sometimes the thought is completely subconscious.

I started to make a list.

• skiing. That’s for other people.

• training to the point of actually feeling like an athlete. That’s for other people.

• buying and selling multiple homes (flipping houses). That’s for other people.

• taking care of my body as a priority, to the point of being naturally slim. That’s for other people. (I do this one partially, not completely because…that’s somehow selfish, or too time-consuming, or too self-focused, and for other people???)

• playing an instrument. That’s for other people.

This question resonated with me so much.

You might be different, and not get this at all. You might be a super logical person. You might just do whatever the heck you want, when you want.

But me? I have stopped myself because deep inside I think, “Oh, that’s for other people. Not for me.”

I have to admit it: a lot of life’s opportunities that are fully available to me I shut down automatically. I don’t even LOOK AT how to get there, or THINK ABOUT what I could do, or what I want because— “That’s for other people.”

Your turn.

Do you limit yourself, too?

Are there a few things you could do that you just don’t (yet)?

Here’s the promise I’m making to myself: in 2021, I am going to do some things that I’ve always secretly thought were for “other people.”

Will you join me?

When I think about what I’d choose or where I’d start, my brain feels like this:

This could be fun, but where do I start?

But you guys, it’s the Mary Oliver line from her poem, “The Summer’s Day”:

“Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”

— Mary Oliver

If 2020 has brought us anything good, it’s this: we have more time to think about things, and make some decisions about the future.

Happy Sunday!

(If this resonates with you, drop me a note if you have time. I feel a little vulnerable sharing this idea with you, but maybe you feel the same about your own life? Is there anything you’ve stopped yourself from doing?)

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Hello to all the new people this week! You are so welcome here at Love Our Age.

• Tree’s up in our home and I’m loving our early start to the holidays! Fun tip if your family is struggling a little: a puzzle, whether you finish it or not, somehow makes people feel like there is space and time in the world. Puzzles feel jolly, and holiday-like. You probably have one lying around the house somewhere. The piece of felt means you can roll it up anytime…or just box it up when you’re tired of it.

The thing we lost recently...

So here’s a weird true story for you with a metaphor for life…

We moved into our family home 14 years ago, and the owners had a double door between two bedrooms that locked with a special key. Our two young sons wanted their own rooms, but often would play together with those double doors open between their rooms.

That key was the only way to keep the doors closed, and with two young kids, we guarded it with our lives.

What if we lost the key?

What if the boys were playing with it, locking each other in and out and they lost the special key?

Fast forward 14 years to yesterday, when we were replacing the carpet on that side of the house. We needed to open the doors between the boys’ rooms, which had been locked since they became teens.

But we couldn’t find the key.

It wasn’t in the special key spot we’d used for years (a hidden mug on a shelf). Frantic texts to the boys yielded a no from both of them. My husband tried a zillion different allen keys, with no luck.

The worst had happened. After worrying we’d lose the key for 14 years, we finally lost the KEY. We’d have to remove the doors from the hinges to get the carpet installed, and then…

My husband googled ‘round key with ridges double doors’ and found that Bunnings carries THOUSANDS of them.

For $3.

In fact, we must have walked by walls of those keys every Saturday for 14 years when we were at the hardware store.

Yep, it’s a metaphor for life.

Most of the things we worry about never happen. All that time is lost.

And even if we do actually lose the key, sometimes it is laughably easy to just FIGURE IT OUT.

If you’re worrying about something today, is there a chance that maybe it isn’t such a big worry after all? Maybe it’ll be easy. Maybe the solution will pop up before you have to rip doors off their hinges.

Maybe this time, it will be a simple fix with no downside.

I hope so! You deserve every good thing, especially this year when life has been hard.

Happy Friday.

Love Catherine x

PS.

If you’re in Sydney and you need to replace carpets, you may want to get a quote from the guys who helped me this week. The price was almost 40% less than the exact same carpet installed from a provider in my upper north shore suburb. What?! Email me for info — happy to help you!

And because everyone loves a good before & after…(my older son, the one whose day job is law school and hobby is becoming a BBQ pit master, spilled a tray of meat and juice on this carpet six months ago. That’s why it looks SO BAD.)

Before…

After!

It’s hard to take a photo of carpet that shows the colour properly. It’s actually lighter than it looks here…but so much better!

"I'll figure it out."

Hello & happy Sunday.

Well, here’s some irony for you…I’ve spent the last hour in tears trying to write a blog post telling all of you guys that one of my favourite phrases ever is this:

First, let me tell you why I love this idea so much. (Then I’ll tell you why I’ve been crying.)

“I’ll figure it out” is a little mantra I whisper to myself all the time. When I don’t know where the next client is coming from in my business, “I’ll figure it out.” When I’m not sure what to do (if anything) to help a child with a broken heart, “I’ll figure it out.”

When I’m sad or scared or lonely, when I worry that COVID means I’ll never get back to Canada to see my mum, when I don’t know what the future holds for authors and who will buy books during a pandemic…when I worry about all of it, I whisper to myself: “I’ll figure it out.”

Try it. It helps every time. You can whisper, “I’ll figure it out” and I promise you’ll feel a little better about your challenges.

Honestly, it works.

Except for computers. This is where we get to the part about me crying this morning. (I’m laughing now at how dumb I am, you guys, but here it is…)

I’ll figure it out does NOT work for my stupid computer. When there is an automatic system upgrade, and suddenly it has become 10,000 times harder to snap a photo of my beautiful Aussie native flowers on my kitchen table and quickly make it smaller so it loads faster in a blog post I am sending to you on a Sunday morning — and it NO LONGER WORKS because of the new computer upgrade — then, my friends…

I WILL NOT FIGURE IT OUT.

Because I hate technology. Because it makes me want to tantrum. Because it literally makes me cry and want to throw my laptop in the pool that is almost warm enough to swim in now in our Aussie springtime.

So instead, I did the next best thing: I cried. I drank coffee. I made my long-suffering husband’s eyes roll back into his head as he tried to google and fix this thing that used to be so easy to do before the computer upgrade. (IT IS NOT AN UPGRADE IF IT MAKES MY LIFE WORSE, BILL GATES. JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.)

Oh my lord, I am now laughing at myself and crying all at the same time. Literally, laugh-cry. Grrrrr, agh!

Thanks for letting me be honest about my not-so-perfect life.

I hope this photo didn’t take too long to load for you today, and that you’re able to read this and find a little inspiration.

I hope you start to tell yourself, “I’ll figure it out.”

Now I have to go and actually try to figure it out. (Thank goodness for my husband. I appreciate him so much when it comes to tech. Honestly, he’s a gem.)

Enjoy your Sunday.

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• The Aussie native flowers were a gift from a beautiful young couple last weekend when we hosted a dinner for my husband’s team at work. They’ve lasted so well! If you’re overseas, I thought you might like a peek—our native flowers are so unusual and so gorgeous. Wish you were all here to have coffee (while I cry about tech) and see them! Let’s believe that one day this virus won’t stop us from visiting the people we love. I truly hope you and yours are coping. Sending love.

How I Comfort Myself

Hello, my friends.

It’s Friday morning in Sydney, and—remarkably—I have the house all to myself. One teen is at school, our older son is at his new part-time job in a city law office, my husband is in the city for work…and I’m here in the very quiet home office writing to you.

Covid has meant that the house has been full 24/7, and what used to be a quiet workspace for me on my own has turned into a ‘family office’ of sorts. It’s been great, but also the peace is nice today. I’ve lit an orange-blossom candle and poured myself a big glass of water.

Let’s talk about how we give ourselves some comfort, okay?

For a very long time, and this is embarrassing to admit, I didn’t really understand that feelings were for feeling. I was so quick to run from them or try to wrangle them into something resembling happiness so I could feel ‘safe’.

This looked a lot like:

• Buying Cadbury Fruit & Nut bars and stashing them in the fridge.

• Talking obsessively to my ever-patient husband, who is the wisest person I know and gives the BEST advice on everything. (Yes, the whole world agrees with me on this point. If you know him, you know! People queue up for his advice and always have.)

• In my head, saying mean things to myself about not being faster, smarter, better.

And then one day I realised I had to learn to comfort myself. Since this is fairly new for me, and I’ve only been at it a few years, I thought I’d share my Comfort List with you.

Maybe my list will help inspire you to create a list of your own.

1. I make myself a coffee. (I keep decaf on hand, too, for any time of day)

2. Light a candle, or as many candles as I can. Pretty light always makes me feel better.

3. Weird one (learned from my DOG! Ha!) — I literally shake it off. If I have a yucky conversation or feel awful about something, I’ve learned to actually stand in place and shake everything…get that negativity out of my body physically. I jump up and down, shake my arms, run in place, probably look like a maniac but TRY THIS. I mean really do it: shake it off. It works. It helps so quickly and is way more effective than thinking.

4. Listen to a song I love. (Remember, even if you don’t have Spotify you can listen to any song on Youtube. Google it and feel better.)

5. Go on a rampage of appreciation from The 10 Minute Fix.

So curious to hear what you do to comfort yourself! What am I missing? What do you know that I don’t? Tell me, if you have time. I love learning.

Enjoy your day,

Catherine x

PS. Furry summer slippers…in Australia it’s time for them! Aren’t my jade ones pretty? They’re from Target. Link here if you’re curious. Not an #ad, just for fun. Oh, and here are some on Amazon.

We know this, don't we?

On this rainy Sunday that feels like winter has returned to Sydney, I’ve been thinking about icebergs and shampoo.

We got up early, made toasted sausage sandwiches on sourdough rolls with hash browns for the skateboarding teens who slept over, then walked the dog in the drizzle.

And while I was in the shower after all of that, I thought about a simple fix that always makes me feel better: the smell of shampoo and conditioner.

To me, shampoo smells like hope.

It means — I’m going to give this thing another shot, scrub up and head back out there. It means — the day could be good (or even great, or better than I expected). It’s a small bit of hope in a bottle: the smell of your own fresh, clean hair or the smell of a child’s hair after the bath. Isn’t that scent a gift?

Because for all of us the icebergs exist.

Most of what is going on in our lives lies beneath the parts of ourselves we share. Think about social media, and all that perfection (the crop, the filter, the angles). Think about the last conversation you had with a friend and what you didn’t reveal.

Whether or not we do it online or do it in real life, it’s easy to fall into the trap of Being What We Think The World Expects.

But here’s the thing: we can be who we are. Right this second, in our own internal worlds: we can be all of it, the iceberg and the shampoo. Today, we can let our shoulders drop and be imperfect.

Be the one who has a hard time when she tries to change herself.

The one who still criticises, or overeats, or over-drinks. The one who meant to start working out three months ago and has done it twice. The one who said the wrong thing and didn’t get the project finished (or even started).

You are loved right now, like you are: imperfect and trying. So am I.

Yes, yes, you can do better. We all can, and we will keep on trying. But for today — hugs to you where you are.

The iceberg is real, but so is the shampoo. Fresh starts are here for all of us.

Sending you rainy day best wishes today.

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• No judgement at all, but if over-drinking is a thing you’re thinking about coming into the holidays, my incredible cousin at The Bubble Hour podcast has written a helpful book called The Unpickled Holiday Survival Guide. Today it’s on super-sale at amazon for $7! You can find it here.

• And hey, it’s Jacaranda season soon. My picture book, Jacaranda Snow, is available online everywhere and in bookshops Australia-wide. Free delivery worldwide on Book Depository!

Do overs, and why I need one.

Happy Sunday, everyone.

Today, a very quick tribute to this beautiful country…

I walked into a shopping mall in Sydney and on the way to the ladies’ room found this on the wall.

Reset! Take a moment to relax and just breathe.

The sign got me thinking — first I swelled up with pride because Australia is amazing, and how wonderful is this sign in a shopping mall? I mean…how thoughtful. The wall could have been blank, millions of people over the years could have just walked by, but instead, someone had the idea to use a WALL to HELP PEOPLE.

Australia, you’re cheeky and fun and also inspiring.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to reset. Maybe to do-over. To take off the things we no longer need as if we’re shedding a huge hot jacket on a climb up a hill. I watched a favourite Instagrammer, Mel Robbins, talk about it this week.

• What should I shed?

• What could I try to do over?

• Is it time for a reset?

Today I’m sitting with these questions, and I wonder if they might also be helpful for you. I don’t have any answers for us, but often I find the questions are the best place to start.

Rest, relax and enjoy your day. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in fifty years of living, we can actually find a way to do-over a lot of things (once we know what needs doing)!

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Fun stuff…I did some early Christmas shopping in the Amazon Prime sale days this past week, I got my favourite OPI nail polish for my own Christmas stocking. Love this colour!

• In case you missed it, I wrote about nail polish and mum life here.

We All Need This Question

Hi there — for fun today, here’s a gorgeous screen shot of the talented Marilyn Monroe from a film I don’t recognise.

THAT OUTFIT.

Doesn’t she look like a woman who is owning her day?

This photo makes me think so many things:

1. Why do we judge beautiful women?

2. What stops us from being a little “extra”? I mean, the nails, the bling-y jewels, that sash, the colours…everything Marilyn is wearing says, “MORE can be GOOD!” I forget this all too often, and sometimes devolve into a colourless life.

3. Is it time to add a little spice to our day?

But more than these questions, the photo of Marilyn makes me think this:

Judgement.

Same old habits.

Forgetting that I can choose a little bling, a little bright lipstick, a fun song while I’m walking.

Am I ready to let go of the way I’ve always been?

What — exactly — am I ready to let go of?

What are you ready to let go of?

(This question makes my brain buzz with possibility!)

Ohhhhh, wish you were here at my kitchen table because I’d love love love to hear your answers! Tell me, is there one thing YOU’RE ready to let go of?

Love Catherine x

Martha Beck's Secret to Life

Hello there!

In case the world feels a little crazy to you right now, I thought I’d share a quote I heard this week and absolutely loved.

“If there’s a secret to life, it’s this:
Find people you like, and do stuff with them.”

— Martha Beck, bestselling author and speaker

Simple and absolutely true.

Have you found your “people you like”? For me, 100% it’s my own family. I love (but also really really like) my sons. The older one is precise and analytical — a reader, a thinker, a talker, a breaker of chains. I can’t wait to see what he’ll offer the world. The younger one is warm and street smart — a reader of people, a creator, a builder, the one who draws together a circle of friends. He’s the glue everyone needs. And my partner is my truest friend — so smart, with wisdom to make the long shots I can’t even see, a foundation and a bridge for hundreds of people at work (and for us, too).

The family I chose and made …those are “my people.” It’s a little insular, but there’s nothing I love more than spending time with them. If you read my new book, you’ll know my favourite time of day is twilight. This photo captures one of my favourite memories with my people — dusk at Hyams Beach, three kilometres of deserted white sand, just us, laughing and running. There was a good dinner ahead of us, spaghetti bolognese cooked by me, a family movie night, beds to snuggle into, warm baths, clean sheets. This little trio — husband, son, son — is my greatest joy.

Today I’m thinking of Martha Beck’s secret to life.

Choose your people. Choose well. And do stuff with them. That really is the secret.

Happy Friday, everyone. I know things are tough out there, so that’s all the more reason to hang on to the people we love. Or this — go and find “your people”. I know they’re out there.

Enjoy your Friday.

Love, Catherine x

PS. It’s time for 31 Crush, and Victoria (the creator) is “the Victoria” in Chapter 2 of my new book, The 10 Minute Fix. She’s a creative dynamo, so lovely and so much fun! You can be coached by Victoria for the month of August — pay what you can — to fall in love with a new activity, habit or pursuit in August. Email Victoria to learn more. I did 31 Crush last year and it was magic!