Bigger or smaller?

Happy Sunday!

Look what I found yesterday…our dog, lounging on my laptop. Cute and totally unposed, though it looks like I put her there. In fact, I’d just gone to the kitchen for my third cup of decaf and came back to find Holly like this. She’s almost eight now and I hope she lives forever.

Today I’ve got something very simple for you: a little thought I’ve been having about my own happiness.

Our brains love keeping us safe and helping us do the same things over and over. For me right now, it’s time to try something new.

If you’re in the same place, ask yourself the bigger or smaller question. I know that happiness follows growth and stepping out, whatever the outcome, and that when we’re learning we feel the most alive.

Beginning again or daring to try is harder than seeking happiness, but it is always worth the journey.

I hope your weekend is uplifting, inspiring, and a whole lot of fun!

Love Catherine x

• I just finished a smart, rollicking, fun novel about Seattle — Where’d you go, Bernadette. Wow, Maria Semple can write and since we used to live in the Pacific Northwest, this book was a winner for me!

• Can’t wait to read Kazuo Ishiguro’s Klara and the Sun.

Tricking You?

Hello, new friends! Welcome to Love Our Age…I’m Catherine Greer and you’re here probably because you just read The 10 Minute Fix. I’m leading with a selfie today so you can see me! I’m always signing up for blogs and then not really knowing who’s writing to me :) So here I am, Catherine, standing in my study in Sydney mid-way through a big writing day.

I drink a lot of coffee, my friends. :)

Hi to everyone, all of you who I know and love, and new people from around the world and in my city.

I’m so glad you’re here! I have something really juicy to share today — an idea I read a couple of weeks ago that truly changed me. (You can find Mel Robbins at melrobbins.com)

I had to unpack this and ask myself if it’s true.

Yes, thinking about writing sometimes does make me feel like I’ve been writing — even when I haven’t put a word down on a page. Thinking about solutions in dealing with a teen really does make me think I’ve done something to improve our relationship…but I haven’t actually DONE ANYTHING at all.

I’m not suggesting that it’s not helpful to think.

I’m agreeing that my thinking and even deciding often tricks me into believing I’ve already done the thing and moved closer to my goal when I haven’t.

Do you do this? Think and plan and then somehow get tricked into believing that you’ve acted on your plan?

Most of life is about the doing.

Moving closer to our goals? Doing.

Getting healthier? Doing.

Writing a book? Doing.

Changing jobs? Doing.

Starting a business? Doing.

Improving a relationship? Doing. Acting.

I’m so excited about this idea. Here’s why: because now that I see it, I can change it. I can think and plan—of course—but also make sure that I act.

Enjoy your beautiful weekend! I’ll be here today helping a teen with a ton of assessments (not just worrying about him) AND doing some writing on my new book. Can’t wait for you to read it! If you enjoyed The 10 Minute Fix, you’ll love this one…

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• I overbought a ton of pears…wondering if I can make a pear pie for Sunday dinner? Does that sound terrible to you? Maybe mix it with apple? Here’s my apple pie recipe from my author website and blog. I am a serial baker—haha!

• It’s the book birthday of The 10 Minute Fix! That little book has been sneaking its way into women’s hearts around the world for exactly one year. If you want to celebrate with me and gift a copy to a friend, you can get it here in America, and here in Canada, and here in the UK and here in Australia. I love that this small book is helping women feel a little better about everyday life. To me, that’s everything. xo

How To Rest Your Nervous System

Hello, my beautiful friends who are probably also busy and maybe a little tired, can I give some unofficial, un-expert tips on what’s been working for me to rest my jumpy nervous system? If you feel a little tired or overwhelmed, this might help.

I’m not a healthcare professional, but here’s what I do for a quick rest and reset.

1. Exhale, deep sigh.

2. Touch (hand massage or hug…even hug yourself).

3. Hand on heart and breathe.

Let me explain: these are three little tricks you can use to calm down your nervous system while you’re in the middle of something hard. For example, you can use them mid-meeting, mid-argument, or in the middle of receiving bad news.

You can also set them up like a practice — that automatic response you do to soothe yourself.

• Exhale deep sigh — this one comes with a warning that if you do it regularly, you can become a little irritating to your partner! (I don’t want to be a person who sighs all the time — haha — and it was actually my husband who inadvertently taught me this one because his sighing was driving me CRAZY and when I asked, “Tell me about that sigh thing you do…” he said it was to release stress.) Anyway, exhale-deep sigh works, so go ahead and try that one now. Your nervous system will relax and you’ll get a moment of immediate release.

• Touch / hand massage / hug / hug yourself — this one is brilliant. Hand massage works anywhere. It’s unobtrusive and feels amazing. Hug yourself is perfect if you’re lying in bed worrying and can’t sleep. It will remind you that you’ve got your own back, that you’re always there for yourself, that you’ve “got you” no matter what. Hug someone else is as lovely as it always is, whether that’s a little person or a big person.

• Hand on heart — this one is like a touchstone for me. It reminds me that I’m okay. I can do it anytime, anywhere, and usually combine it with an exhale. Another great combo if you’re in bed worrying is ‘hand on heart plus hand on tummy’. This is a great time to do whatever your belief system urges you to do: meditate, pray, send good thoughts to someone.

I hope these little tips work for you. So simple, right? Yes they are, but I know from experience that small steps are perfect.

Enjoy your weekend,

Love Catherine x

PS.

You guys, I share fun stuff I love in the PS of my notes to you just because it makes me happy and I hope it brightens your day! I’m not a big influencer, and if I post an affiliate link to a product on amazon, it means about twice a year I get sent a $15 amazon gift card. That’s the extent of any earnings from affiliate links, but I just wanted you to know. :) If I link to Aussie items, these are never affiliate links — just beautiful, useful things. So, this week…

• If you’re Aussie, go check out these coffee mugs from Wheel & Barrow. I love them so much!

• For winter, my fuzzy sherpa-lined heart socks were a gift from my Aussie bestie this week, and oh man, I love pulling them on during morning coffee or if I go to bed with freezing cold feet. Similar ones here.

A Simple Reminder

Hi and welcome to Love Our Age! If you’re new this week, I’m so happy you dropped by. I’m in pjs with hot black coffee as I write to you, thinking of so many things.

• Goals.

• Plans.

• What we achieve and what we aspire to achieve.

I don’t know about you, but I’m heading into a season of getting some writing done. I’m excited about a novel I’ve been writing for you—my first try at adult fiction—and it’s aligned with the encouragement and wisdom in The 10 Minute Fix. It’s a story about a woman who finds her strength…it’s about reinventing ourselves in the middle of our lives and starting something new. The message? You’re not too old, and it’s never too late.

How are you doing? Is spring or fall making you think of pursuing something fresh and new?

Whatever you decide, I hope you remember the six words on this t-shirt.

Be good to yourself, inspire others.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s this: the first one has to come before the second. It’s the old ‘put on your own oxygen mask first’ cliche, and it’s true. Take care of yourself this weekend, have a few treats, be good to you.

You deserve it. We all do.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Some fun for you…my favourite salad ever! You need fresh corn and quinoa and it’s worth it.

The Lesson of 'Not This'

Hello, internet friends…hope you’re enjoying your weekend.

I’ve started making mint tea for myself, similar to this beautiful way it’s served at my local cafe. It feels like abundance—stuffing all that mint in the tea pot (that’s how I make mine at home). Something for you to try if you have mint in the garden. Fresh mint tea is just surprisingly better: not difficult, just better.

Today I’ve been thinking about how we change, and what we need to invite into our lives to grow into the next version of ourselves. It always makes me think of Elizabeth Gilbert’s words turned into a beautiful card by the amazing Emily Henderson at Em and Friends. You can find this card here.

Through every season of my life, I’ve run headlong into some Not This moments. Maybe you have too. And because we don’t know what’s next, it’s easy to feel like we’re stuck…but we’re not.

We’re feeling ‘Not This.’

All we need to do with Not This is sit for a while—for as long as it takes—and listen until our truth shows up.

I don’t know about you, but it’s so easy for me to argue with my own deepest truth, to try to convince myself that I’m not hearing what I’m hearing, that I shouldn’t feel this way, that I’m maybe too old or inexperienced. I worry that I lack the talent, connections or opportunities.

But the deepest truth hangs around and whispers to us: Not this…it’s THIS. Try this. See what happens.

We can get better at so many things: waiting a bit, listening to our hearts, knowing our deepest truth, taking a small step forward. That’s my plan right now. I hope it’s yours, too.

Enjoy your weekend. I’m cheering for us all.

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• My favourite book by Elizabeth Gilbert is Big Magic, and I’ve been meaning to read her novel, The Signature of All Things, published in 2014. City of Girls was not for me—that’s how I always talk about books and art because I know how hard they are to create and every book is for someone. You may love it…America in the 1940s.

• Tea and a book…always a beautiful combination!

Hello Spring, it's nearly Autumn...

Today in Sydney: so much rain. There’s flooding in New South Wales, and I hope you’re safe and dry. We woke up to State Emergency Services evacuation warning texts for some areas, and we live in a particularly rainy suburb but thankfully our area of Sydney is still okay. If you’re in warning zones in New South Wales, I hope you’re safe and I’m thinking of you.

On this side of the world, autumn, and on the other side there’s spring.

I live in two places in my mind and heart — that’s the life of an immigrant. My birthday is in spring and fall (beginning of May), Christmas happens in winter and summer. I always think we can choose to feel strange about this or good…experiencing both, living both, and knowing what the other side feels like.

Mangoes at Christmas. Christmas snowfall. Either way can feel like magic.

It helps me to remember a little tip I learned — that happiness is 50-50. I used to want to be happy all the time, but the older I get, the more I believe this is true. Fifty percent happy, fifty percent other is do-able, and (as I always tell myself) it’s okay to walk through the low side and know that the good feelings are coming back.

Whether it’s family or our dreams, finances or opportunities, even health or sickness…I know that life rolls on in peaks and troughs and everything feels better weathered together.

Happy Sunday, my friends. Enjoy your Spring in northern climates, and stay safe and dry Down Under.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• No news yet about how to help people in flooded areas of NSW — I hope you’re keeping safe.

• Fun thing — water lilies are going in my pool, my friends. Aren’t they pretty for winter? I got mine at IKEA.

• Super useful — the best Lululemon dupes for workout leggings are here. Really lovely! I want the snakeskin ones because…why not live a little? My favourite workout tip is this: the louder the music, the more fun I have and the harder I work. Happy Sunday!

Hello, Beautiful Day.

Hi everyone. Question for us this morning.

What if this day was completely neutral?

What if anything could happen, and we could simply make it mean whatever we want it to mean?

I’ve been told I’m optimistic, that I’m sometimes irritatingly positive, but the alternative just never seems like a good idea to me. If I can choose my thoughts, then mostly I want to choose some good ones.

Even during these tough times, I believe that every day arrives neutral and ends neutral, too. We get to shape our days to some extent, and no matter what happens, we can think about our lives however we choose to.

Sometimes it’s good to zoom out and get some perspective, right? This week, I drew a little chart while I had a big talk with my husband. It looked like the future for us:

This is our plan, if we’re lucky with health and family. Yours might be different, of course, and we all want to live our lives in a way that’s meaningful and true.

For us, we’ll continue to work as long as possible. We both enjoy working — we find it stimulating and interesting and we both love being on the go. We hope to invest in being involved grandparents — that matters to us. Our boys and our family have been the heartbeat of our lives together, and our family is the best thing we’ve ever built. And do you see our very unpopular point of view with that little question mark…we don’t care much if we travel? Really, we just don’t care.

Here’s the thing: when you draw out your life in however many columns you have left, attitude becomes everything.

No one knows what the future will hold, but when we take a bird’s eye view of the best case scenario of the years we may have left, it’s really easy to get clear on what we value.

Right now more than ever, the days are long but the years are short. Covid’s been rough, with a few hidden gifts inside like more time getting to know ourselves, or loving our families, or making our homes feel more like “home.” Right now we’re all caught up in the daily grind and thoughts of “will this ever end”? But I believe it’s also really important to pull focus, like they do when they shoot movies, to back up our Life Camera a bit so we get a look at the full picture.

Then we can decide a few things.

We can choose how to think. We can decide what we want to happen, and take steps toward that if we can….come what may.

That’s the question I’m trying to ask myself right now. And hello, beautiful decades (if I get you). What will I do with you to make the biggest impact I can with — as poet Mary Oliver says — “my one wild and precious life”?

Sending some good weekend vibes your way. I hope you’re doing okay.

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• Texas is close to my heart. I spent a lot of time there in my 20s with my snowbird Canadian parents. Here’s how we can help during the storms.

• Read Mary Oliver’s poem, “The Summer Day”. (Thank you, America and Americans, for sharing your amazing poets with the world.)

• My beautiful friend, Tara, a lovely Texan-turned-Aussie, gave me the little aqua notebook. You can find it here.

Pssst....

Hi, friends. It’s the weekend and I’m doing crazy stuff…as in, I’m stretching out of my shell.

I don’t know if you feel the same, but I’m sooooo tired of the current reality — Covid, illness, making do around the world, waiting for a solution, all of that.

I’m not psychologically stuck — still moving forward — but I do feel like Life might be handing us a big black bunker and asking us to step inside, and today I’m saying NO, THANK YOU. Nope. I’m choosing some better thoughts.

I’m getting risky in my own mind. I’m deciding that it’s time to act on some things, to make a move forward, to step OUT creatively.

Maybe I’m doing it in reaction to all the physical Covid restrictions (which we follow around here). My brain, my mind, my thoughts want to get a whole lot bigger.

And YOU? How are you? Really, how are you, in case nobody has asked you today? How are your thoughts and do you need a little wake up call to turn your incredible brain toward something new?

I do.

This is my favourite line from American poet, Amy David.

Yes, I do.

I want to go make some mistakes. For me, it’s the only way I grow.

If you want to grow bigger and make some mistakes too, I’m over here cheering for you. I hope you enjoy your weekend, and find a way to stretch a little.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• I’m trying to do something new and fun (for me) — will let you know how it goes if it goes!

• Welcome to all the new people this week. I appreciate you!

• Anyone up for making the most delicious salad on the planet? It’s my Fresh Corn & Quinoa Salad and it’s so healthy you won’t regret it.

I'm Working On This...

Hey, Happy Sunday. Welcome to you if you’re new…there are so many of you this week! I’m guessing you’ve signed up for my weekly emails after reading The 10 Minute Fix. I’m honestly happy you’re here and I hope I can offer something that uplifts and inspires you today.

Right now this is my Sunday morning view: a rearranged lounge room after the Christmas tree was put away, and I always feel like moving furniture gives me a fresh new start.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all of us around the world — Covid, Covid, go away — and I’m trying to find any kind of silver lining. For me, it’s this: I’m learning to make the most of my home.

Here’s the disclaimer: we are so very lucky here in Australia, and I wish I could have you ALL over for coffee and cinnamon buns right now because our Covid situation is really good, our government has been wise, it’s summer and we are better than just okay. I watch the news and I know it’s easier for us, way easier.

And yet, the gift of Covid is this: we are all noticing our own homes. Covid has made me think about all the things I can do for free, with just a little effort, to make our nest a whole lot nicer.

• Change the sheets more often.

• Put away what’s on my countertop in the bathroom and kitchen.

• Sweep the tiles at the front door and wipe the door down, so it’s clean.

• Faux flowers when I can’t have real…I know, I know, am I an old lady now? But these lilies above are so realistic. I’ll link below.

• A cup of tea at night in a china cup I love.

Yes, the simple things. Little fixes to make our homes more “home” and prettier, or more functional, or just feel like a nicer space to be.

Truth is, we can choose to do this, right? Truth also is…it doesn’t even necessarily take longer, or make more work for us. Because here’s the thing: we can spend time wishing life were different, or we can spend that time making the best of it.

I read something this week that stopped me in my tracks. When that happens, I know I’ve found a lesson I need to learn.

Peace. It’s elusive right now during crazy Covid times, but it’s there, waiting for us.

I hope you enjoy your weekend around your home, and I’m thinking of you, spread around this world…sprinkled in Canada and Australia, America and England, India and Germany, and on and on.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Those lilies are here, and they’re super convincing in real life. You can order online.

• Tip for faux flowers: I have three different bunches, and I only keep them on display a short while. Then I store them in a vase in a tall cupboard so I never get tired of them. And of course, when I can, it’s so lovely to buy fresh.

• Also this little tip: any green thing from outside, or any wintery branch, can look pretty and it’s free for us to enjoy. All we need to do is take time and notice, and bring the outside in.

"Oh, that's not for me..."

Well, hello friends. I woke up to a beautiful sunny Sunday and I’m so excited about that. I hope there’s something peaceful and pretty for you to look at in your world right now. Is there anything prettier than sunshine or snow? Starlight, twilight, summer days or winter…I look for the beauty.

That’s why we keep our Christmas tree up for ages. We all love it (I taught the kids — ha! sorry future-partners….my boys will want the tree up for months…and by the way, would you like to inherit 12,000,000 nutcrackers???)

Yesterday it was time to take down the tree, and this is how I do it: I wrap every ornament separately in coloured tissue paper, co-ordinated with each lovely decoration, and store them in a big tub. Then when we decorate the tree next year, we “open” every ornament and often make a little surprised comment about how much we love this one or that one.

From here, I can feel you doing two things:

1. Agreeing with me — you do something similar! So fun!

2. Gritting your teeth with the entire pain-in-the-buttness of this approach.

And I am who I am.

And you are who you are.

Do we have to be the same for us to love and respect each other? No. But it seems like right now we give our opinion and give it in a way that can make people feel cancelled. That’s the new term, right? We get ‘corrected’ or get ‘cancelled.’ As an author, I get this a lot. In public. And what people say stands there forever. It’s the price of being a creative and sharing your work with the world.

I wonder if we could try this instead:

It’s such a lovely thing to say, or do. Truly it is — because it leaves some room in the world for everyone else.

Book you don’t like? That’s not for me.

Person you don’t like? She’s not for me.

Decision someone else made that you don’t like? No, that’s not for me.

I know life is not as simple as this when you look at the big issues, like justice and freedom and equality and lawfulness. I know, absolutely, that there are things in the world where we should stand up, correct others, vote, march, fight.

But I also know there are so many times where we can use kindness instead. And “That’s not for me” really is the truth.

It’s not for me, but it might be for someone else.

Hope your Christmas decorations are safely down, the room is rearranged, and there’s a little something beautiful you can find in your world today. It’s tough out there, and we need to keep our spirits up.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Did everyone watch the inauguration? Amanda Gorman was absolutely stunning!

• If you need a little healthy-ish sweet today, for the new people here…you can try these little no-bake brownie bites. GF, DF, V.

• Hey, if you’d like to leave me a lovely review or a quick star-rating for The 10 Minute Fix on amazon…sending big hugs your way. Thank you.

Sharks! And being brave...

Well, after a super rainy December in Sydney we’ve finally got our summer. Right this minute, the laundry’s drying outside, there are pool towels everywhere, teens have been enjoying swimming at our place and I’ve been loving the warm weather and sunshine.

I know: we are so lucky. Covid during winter isn’t great—I know this because we did our autumn-into-winter when it all started in 2020. Summer does make Covid a lot easier to handle, and in Australia we’re fortunate with fewer people unwell and lighter restrictions on gatherings.

Wherever you are today, can I share a snippet of my world to make you feel a little better?

I’ve been thinking about bravery. For personal reasons that I’m not ready to share, I need a lot of bravery this year. Life is staring me right in the face like a smiling shark and it’s time for me to grow up (yet again) and do some hard things.

You guys, I am scared. I love comfort and success and celebration and ease. I love having fun and being fun for other people.

I don’t love swimming with sharks.

You want to know what I do when I have to grow (or grow up)? I pull out my thoughts and take a look at what I’m believing.

• If there’s FEAR, I need IDEAS.

• If there’s WORRY, I need PRACTICAL STEPS.

• If there’s SPINNING IN CIRCLES, I need a PLAN. (A plan that feels do-able, small steps, believable.)

I try to choose better thoughts as if a waiter’s walking by with several thoughts on a platter and I can take some new ones that will serve me better.

Today I read this and it helped.

Maybe it will help you, too.

I know the world is so hard right now for so many people. Yes, we’re lucky (infinitely lucky) in Australia because we’ve got summer and less Covid than so many other countries in the world. But here’s the truth: we all have our things. Remember this post? Nobody rides for free. It’s a good one, so if you’re new and you missed it, you might want to take a second to read it today.

All of us are in this together. We have right now—no guarantees of anything beyond that. Let’s go out there and try to make this weekend a good one…sharks, no sharks, or something in between.

Sending love (& loving all the new people who are here because of The 10 Minute Fix. Wow, I’m honoured that so many of you around the world are loving this book. I wrote it for us, so thank you! More friends! Yayyyyyy! You’re so welcome here every Sunday.)

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Okay, this made me laugh SO MUCH…see my Christmas swimmers above? That was one of my favourite presents. I was wearing that bikini last night when our 20-year old son walked in from his Brazilian Jujitsu class. He looked up and said, “Well THAT’S a stab in the eyeballs.” Seriously, I just about peed laughing. Do you think he’s had too many lovely young women in bikinis around this summer, and not a lot of 54-year-old mothers??? But body love means that I honour my own choices, and I’m choosing two-piece forever. You do you and I’ll do me! xo.

• Anyway, if you love my swimmers, you can order online and they’re such a great price. They have a real 1970s vibe, the fabric is thick and feels like terry towelling, and I love them. Not an #ad, but you can get yours here. Top & bottom sold separately.

Body Love

Hello there, beautiful person.

It’s been a big week — so please know I’m thinking of all of us with Covid, political unrest, vaccine news and just all the things that we can’t seem to control right now.

But…

Is it okay if we have a little talk about our bodies today? In a topsy-turvy world, sometimes it’s good to centre in on what we can take care of to make things a little better.

Let me tell you a story: I’ve always been wiggly and a mover. My childhood nickname was Squirmie, and I remember talking so much during mealtime that my plate was always mostly full when everyone else was finished because…hello, Fun! Even though I tried most things (volleyball, basketball, figure skating) I hated sports and I was terrible at anything with a ball, but I loved to walk for hours. Fast forward to adulthood, and I’ve always done the basics. I’ve been a runner, exercised, went to fitness classes, dance classes, women’s rugby, group training in the park, Zumba, and now training in our at-home garage gym—which is really just two mats, some weights and a couple of machines.

So I’ve put that exercise tick in the box, and about half of it was done grudgingly.

But this morning I slept in, and in that delicious well-slept and dreamy state I had a big realisation. I want to step outside my own body this year…and actually learn to love it.

The Year of Body Love.

Not health, not weight loss, not exercise, not doing something gruelling because it’s good for me. Nope. I’ve had a mindset shift. I want to take my own body by the hand and treat me better.

For me, what does that look like?

• I want to see moving my body as a privilege that I “get to do”.

• I want to discover what I might feel like if I were truly strong.

• I want to work on my posture.

• I want to move more every day — long and slow, outside whenever possible. I want to breathe more fresh air, sit less and definitely stretch my arms above my head so much more often than I do now.

(Check yourself: how many times a day do you stretch your arms above your head? For me, not enough.)

Body Love isn’t about another resolution to do better because we’ve been bad at taking care of ourselves. It comes from a different place.

Like this:

I’m intrigued by this, and a little excited to try.

I hope you have a relaxing, peaceful Sunday…and that this CRAZY first week of the new year held some joy.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Hello, new people!

• I’m in the middle of reading Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library and I know wny the world is loving it. Have you read it yet? It’s giving me the most amazing dreams about my own ‘sliding doors’ life and what could have been…

Happy New Everything

Well, Happy New Year to you!

Since so many of you are new here, you’re getting this little newsletter from me (Catherine Greer) because you enjoyed my book, The 10 Minute Fix (available here in America, Canada and Australia) and you subscribed to my blog at Love Our Age.

This is a sneaky hello because I’m officially on Christmas break, but I wanted to let you know I’ll inspire you with weekly posts every Sunday in 2021. The rest of the time, I’ll be working on new books, running my copywriting business and teaching an online writing course or two.

Deep breath!

But for today, if you’re at all like I am, which is up to your neck in promises you’ve made to yourself about how disciplined you’ll be in 2021, then it’s time to pause the overwhelm.

Instead, let’s focus on this simple fix, my friends:

Take a moment to think about it. What’s the best you can hope for?? It’s good for us to dream.

Wishing you blue skies (or blue nail polish, if that’s not possible) and so much joy over the simple things in 2021.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• New — I’ll write to you once a week (not twice) in 2021! I need to get some books written!

• Check out all my previous posts at Love Our Age.

The Year of (Blank...)

Hello my friends, and hello everyone new this week!

So much is happening just now here in Sydney:

• Darn! There’s a Covid cluster in the Northern Beaches, so for us that means a teen who can’t skate and can’t have his mates over…that’s where they all live.

• I stepped on a tiny piece of glass this week and have to hobble to the doctor to get it dug out of my foot — youch.

• And Christmas is nearly here….hooray!

Honestly, I can’t wait for next week when our little family of four is ready to settle in for Christmas movies, treats, card games and general fun.

At the same time, I’ve been thinking about 2021 and I was inspired by Rebel Wilson when she talked about her Year of Health in 2020.

I think I’m going to have a Year Of Cheering Myself On.

I need to write more books, and I want to get better at taking really good care of myself. I need to be my own best cheerleader. That’s my plan for 2021.

What about you?

(If you want to share, I’d love to hear about your plan for 2021. Inspire me…for you, what is it The Year of?)

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Some Christmas fun — I got this top and my sons say I look a bit like Snow White but it’s super cute in person.

• I made peanut butter balls last week (my husband’s Christmas favourite…they’re kind of like Reese’s peanut butter cups). I found a delicious recipe here.

• If you need some sweet gifts for girlfriends, everyone is loving The 10 Minute Fix. Here in Canada, and here in Australia.

It's the little things, baby.

Today will be a busy day, but in my heart I’m quiet.

Last night I had the most beautiful walk with the guy I love…through the neighbourhood streets, past the kids riding bikes, watching the sun sink orange and low, hiking through the bush at the end of our tree-filled suburb.

Kookaburra song.

Rain and sun showers, then a rainbow.

Oh, 2020, you’ve been a wild and sometimes scary ride.

It makes me think of a line from a song I used to love: It’s the little things, baby, that give you away…when you try to deny how you feel.

How are you?

How are you right now, this second? I’m asking in case no one else has…

How I feel is this: glad we made it, and wondering about 2021. Hoping for a safe vaccine for the rest of the world and all the people I love. Ready for a rest and a new laptop. I’ve worn this one out with all my tapping. The decorations are up, the gifts are wrapped and my favourite season is on the way. Christmas-Summer is lovely, if you want to know. I miss a white one, but a green one with kookaburra song is also really good.

We are lucky here in my little circle in Australia, and we’re used to celebrating Christmas as an island of four. We’ve done it for years and years. If you’re a little worried, a little tired, or wondering how you’ll feel in this season where everything is different this year, I’ve got a simple idea.

It’s the little things, baby. Notice the tiny and beautiful. It’s there—peace—waiting for you.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• Our tree out front is so pretty but hard to capture in a photo. Wish you could come over at night for a cup of tea and a sweet treat.

• Missing this Hyams Beach sunset. A little thing, and so very pretty.

My personal Before & After

Hi everyone, and a huge hello to all the new people this week. In case someone hasn’t asked you this weekend, how is your heart doing?

Me? Yesterday I felt a little low, so I did what I usually do — my ‘go to’ trick to feel better. I give myself a personal Before and After. I like to call it this: Clean up what you’ve got.

It can take as long or as little as you like — a true 10 Minute Fix! Here are some quick ideas:

• Wipe out the cutlery drawer.

• Stand in your closet. Quickly hang your clothes in order of item type, then colour. Boom!

• Get rid of any coffee mugs you don’t love. Same for towels. Donate, repurpose, recycle.

• Move the furniture.

• Are there old papers you need to shred, papers that are holding you to your own past? (I’m talking old bills, tax returns from years ago, or something that makes you unhappy?). Let yourself be free of those things.

Yesterday, I just had this urge to purge.

I wanted to be DONE WITH THINGS. So I reordered my clothes in my closet, wiped out the cutlery tray, recycled two mugs, cut up an old towel to use as rags and then I did is this: I learned to use the pressure washer. Normally this is a job that I would kinda sorta pretend I don’t know how to do and leave it to my husband but…I wanted a really great Before & After.

So I took myself outside and learned how. It felt mesmerising. I’m laughing at myself thinking how silly I am that clean tiles make me feel so much better BUT…they did.

Is it time to give yourself a little personal Before & After?

Do you have the energy today to clean up what you’ve got?

I promise, it’s a great little 10 Minute Fix.

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Still loving my tree swing chair!

• Fun tip — Covid is rotten but Facetime can make it better. I took my lovely Canadian mum & our friend Marlene on a “tour” of the Christmas decorations at Bonds Nursery (Flower Power) yesterday. I showed them the prettiest gum leaf wreath, but I should have snapped my own photo for you here because the website photos are awful! But it was so pretty in person. And this oyster shell wreath was also beautiful.

• We can all help entertain people who aren’t getting out much with a quick video tour of something fun…a winter walk, the decorations in our neighbourhood, all of it.
  

"That's for other people."

Hello from sweltering Sydney!

Today, as half of you rest after Thanksgiving, and some of us roast slowly in the heat or have the aircon cranked to high, and some of you walk through a wintery day…I had a thought I wanted to share.

This week I sat in the parking lot at the mall talking with my cousin in Canada about why her family of origin (who lived so close to a community ski hill) never learned how to ski. And she said something that stopped me in my tracks.

Whoa. Stop everything.

How many times in my life have I not done something because I thought, “That’s for other people”?

Sometimes the thought is completely subconscious.

I started to make a list.

• skiing. That’s for other people.

• training to the point of actually feeling like an athlete. That’s for other people.

• buying and selling multiple homes (flipping houses). That’s for other people.

• taking care of my body as a priority, to the point of being naturally slim. That’s for other people. (I do this one partially, not completely because…that’s somehow selfish, or too time-consuming, or too self-focused, and for other people???)

• playing an instrument. That’s for other people.

This question resonated with me so much.

You might be different, and not get this at all. You might be a super logical person. You might just do whatever the heck you want, when you want.

But me? I have stopped myself because deep inside I think, “Oh, that’s for other people. Not for me.”

I have to admit it: a lot of life’s opportunities that are fully available to me I shut down automatically. I don’t even LOOK AT how to get there, or THINK ABOUT what I could do, or what I want because— “That’s for other people.”

Your turn.

Do you limit yourself, too?

Are there a few things you could do that you just don’t (yet)?

Here’s the promise I’m making to myself: in 2021, I am going to do some things that I’ve always secretly thought were for “other people.”

Will you join me?

When I think about what I’d choose or where I’d start, my brain feels like this:

This could be fun, but where do I start?

But you guys, it’s the Mary Oliver line from her poem, “The Summer’s Day”:

“Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”

— Mary Oliver

If 2020 has brought us anything good, it’s this: we have more time to think about things, and make some decisions about the future.

Happy Sunday!

(If this resonates with you, drop me a note if you have time. I feel a little vulnerable sharing this idea with you, but maybe you feel the same about your own life? Is there anything you’ve stopped yourself from doing?)

Love Catherine x

PS.

• Hello to all the new people this week! You are so welcome here at Love Our Age.

• Tree’s up in our home and I’m loving our early start to the holidays! Fun tip if your family is struggling a little: a puzzle, whether you finish it or not, somehow makes people feel like there is space and time in the world. Puzzles feel jolly, and holiday-like. You probably have one lying around the house somewhere. The piece of felt means you can roll it up anytime…or just box it up when you’re tired of it.

The thing we lost recently...

So here’s a weird true story for you with a metaphor for life…

We moved into our family home 14 years ago, and the owners had a double door between two bedrooms that locked with a special key. Our two young sons wanted their own rooms, but often would play together with those double doors open between their rooms.

That key was the only way to keep the doors closed, and with two young kids, we guarded it with our lives.

What if we lost the key?

What if the boys were playing with it, locking each other in and out and they lost the special key?

Fast forward 14 years to yesterday, when we were replacing the carpet on that side of the house. We needed to open the doors between the boys’ rooms, which had been locked since they became teens.

But we couldn’t find the key.

It wasn’t in the special key spot we’d used for years (a hidden mug on a shelf). Frantic texts to the boys yielded a no from both of them. My husband tried a zillion different allen keys, with no luck.

The worst had happened. After worrying we’d lose the key for 14 years, we finally lost the KEY. We’d have to remove the doors from the hinges to get the carpet installed, and then…

My husband googled ‘round key with ridges double doors’ and found that Bunnings carries THOUSANDS of them.

For $3.

In fact, we must have walked by walls of those keys every Saturday for 14 years when we were at the hardware store.

Yep, it’s a metaphor for life.

Most of the things we worry about never happen. All that time is lost.

And even if we do actually lose the key, sometimes it is laughably easy to just FIGURE IT OUT.

If you’re worrying about something today, is there a chance that maybe it isn’t such a big worry after all? Maybe it’ll be easy. Maybe the solution will pop up before you have to rip doors off their hinges.

Maybe this time, it will be a simple fix with no downside.

I hope so! You deserve every good thing, especially this year when life has been hard.

Happy Friday.

Love Catherine x

PS.

If you’re in Sydney and you need to replace carpets, you may want to get a quote from the guys who helped me this week. The price was almost 40% less than the exact same carpet installed from a provider in my upper north shore suburb. What?! Email me for info — happy to help you!

And because everyone loves a good before & after…(my older son, the one whose day job is law school and hobby is becoming a BBQ pit master, spilled a tray of meat and juice on this carpet six months ago. That’s why it looks SO BAD.)

Before…

After!

It’s hard to take a photo of carpet that shows the colour properly. It’s actually lighter than it looks here…but so much better!

"I'll figure it out."

Hello & happy Sunday.

Well, here’s some irony for you…I’ve spent the last hour in tears trying to write a blog post telling all of you guys that one of my favourite phrases ever is this:

First, let me tell you why I love this idea so much. (Then I’ll tell you why I’ve been crying.)

“I’ll figure it out” is a little mantra I whisper to myself all the time. When I don’t know where the next client is coming from in my business, “I’ll figure it out.” When I’m not sure what to do (if anything) to help a child with a broken heart, “I’ll figure it out.”

When I’m sad or scared or lonely, when I worry that COVID means I’ll never get back to Canada to see my mum, when I don’t know what the future holds for authors and who will buy books during a pandemic…when I worry about all of it, I whisper to myself: “I’ll figure it out.”

Try it. It helps every time. You can whisper, “I’ll figure it out” and I promise you’ll feel a little better about your challenges.

Honestly, it works.

Except for computers. This is where we get to the part about me crying this morning. (I’m laughing now at how dumb I am, you guys, but here it is…)

I’ll figure it out does NOT work for my stupid computer. When there is an automatic system upgrade, and suddenly it has become 10,000 times harder to snap a photo of my beautiful Aussie native flowers on my kitchen table and quickly make it smaller so it loads faster in a blog post I am sending to you on a Sunday morning — and it NO LONGER WORKS because of the new computer upgrade — then, my friends…

I WILL NOT FIGURE IT OUT.

Because I hate technology. Because it makes me want to tantrum. Because it literally makes me cry and want to throw my laptop in the pool that is almost warm enough to swim in now in our Aussie springtime.

So instead, I did the next best thing: I cried. I drank coffee. I made my long-suffering husband’s eyes roll back into his head as he tried to google and fix this thing that used to be so easy to do before the computer upgrade. (IT IS NOT AN UPGRADE IF IT MAKES MY LIFE WORSE, BILL GATES. JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.)

Oh my lord, I am now laughing at myself and crying all at the same time. Literally, laugh-cry. Grrrrr, agh!

Thanks for letting me be honest about my not-so-perfect life.

I hope this photo didn’t take too long to load for you today, and that you’re able to read this and find a little inspiration.

I hope you start to tell yourself, “I’ll figure it out.”

Now I have to go and actually try to figure it out. (Thank goodness for my husband. I appreciate him so much when it comes to tech. Honestly, he’s a gem.)

Enjoy your Sunday.

Love, Catherine x

PS.

• The Aussie native flowers were a gift from a beautiful young couple last weekend when we hosted a dinner for my husband’s team at work. They’ve lasted so well! If you’re overseas, I thought you might like a peek—our native flowers are so unusual and so gorgeous. Wish you were all here to have coffee (while I cry about tech) and see them! Let’s believe that one day this virus won’t stop us from visiting the people we love. I truly hope you and yours are coping. Sending love.

How I Comfort Myself

Hello, my friends.

It’s Friday morning in Sydney, and—remarkably—I have the house all to myself. One teen is at school, our older son is at his new part-time job in a city law office, my husband is in the city for work…and I’m here in the very quiet home office writing to you.

Covid has meant that the house has been full 24/7, and what used to be a quiet workspace for me on my own has turned into a ‘family office’ of sorts. It’s been great, but also the peace is nice today. I’ve lit an orange-blossom candle and poured myself a big glass of water.

Let’s talk about how we give ourselves some comfort, okay?

For a very long time, and this is embarrassing to admit, I didn’t really understand that feelings were for feeling. I was so quick to run from them or try to wrangle them into something resembling happiness so I could feel ‘safe’.

This looked a lot like:

• Buying Cadbury Fruit & Nut bars and stashing them in the fridge.

• Talking obsessively to my ever-patient husband, who is the wisest person I know and gives the BEST advice on everything. (Yes, the whole world agrees with me on this point. If you know him, you know! People queue up for his advice and always have.)

• In my head, saying mean things to myself about not being faster, smarter, better.

And then one day I realised I had to learn to comfort myself. Since this is fairly new for me, and I’ve only been at it a few years, I thought I’d share my Comfort List with you.

Maybe my list will help inspire you to create a list of your own.

1. I make myself a coffee. (I keep decaf on hand, too, for any time of day)

2. Light a candle, or as many candles as I can. Pretty light always makes me feel better.

3. Weird one (learned from my DOG! Ha!) — I literally shake it off. If I have a yucky conversation or feel awful about something, I’ve learned to actually stand in place and shake everything…get that negativity out of my body physically. I jump up and down, shake my arms, run in place, probably look like a maniac but TRY THIS. I mean really do it: shake it off. It works. It helps so quickly and is way more effective than thinking.

4. Listen to a song I love. (Remember, even if you don’t have Spotify you can listen to any song on Youtube. Google it and feel better.)

5. Go on a rampage of appreciation from The 10 Minute Fix.

So curious to hear what you do to comfort yourself! What am I missing? What do you know that I don’t? Tell me, if you have time. I love learning.

Enjoy your day,

Catherine x

PS. Furry summer slippers…in Australia it’s time for them! Aren’t my jade ones pretty? They’re from Target. Link here if you’re curious. Not an #ad, just for fun. Oh, and here are some on Amazon.